April 28, 2022 Therapist Targets Flashing Red Weak Spot During Breakthrough Session Therapist Targets Flashing Red Weak Spot During Breakthrough Session CHICAGO — After several weeks of discussing her patient’s relationship with his family, work-life balance, and dating history, therapist Andrea Brown finally noticed a flashing…
March 4, 2022 10-Year Old Trainer Becomes Pokémon Master Simply by Having Six of Them 10-Year Old Trainer Becomes Pokémon Master Simply by Having Six of Them KANTO — A 10-year-old Pallet Town resident named Red has collected all eight gym badges in the region and is officially a master of the…
June 25, 2021 Jedi Apologizes and Agrees to Attend Counseling After Explaining He Thought Red Lightsaber ‘Just Looked Cooler’ Jedi Apologizes and Agrees to Attend Counseling After Explaining He Thought Red Lightsaber ‘Just Looked Cooler’ CORUSCANT — Local Jedi Knight Randor Holobon says he regrets showing up to a routine peace-keeping mission wielding a red lightsaber, in what many have…
March 14, 2020 Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a truck in his original playthrough…
