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We Played and Ranked EVERY SINGLE N64 Game

#59. MRC: Multi Racing Championship

September 4, 1997
Genki
Ocean
$34.79 on Amazon

 

Where Can I buy the Armstrong Originality DOG IV?

If you’re a fan of Tokyo Extreme Racer, you may be surprised to hear that developer Genki was also behind MRC: Multi-Racing Championship. And if you’re a fan of rally games, you might also be pleasantly surprised by the complexity of MRC‘s track design — courses with branching pathways are not particularly common in the history of the genre, and certainly not ones with nuanced weather and day-to-night effects.

While not the most graphically detailed racing game of its generation, MRC bolsters its somewhat plain environments with bright car decals, snowy hills, and a soothing sunrise to sunset cycle. The game’s most impressive asset is the way that these graphical touches are not only aesthetic, but also impact the game’s physicality. At any fork in the road, your ability to choose which way you go is as much a practical move as it is a visual preference. Driving across snowed-in dirt roads will feel starkly different than asphalt, for example. Though we may take these things for granted today, MRC certainly stood out during the N64’s run for its commitment to gameplay depth.

One of my personal favorite things about MRC is its commitment to making up its own vehicles. Unlike most of its contemporaries, it boasts an impressive array of fake cars with fantastically onerous names. The Armstrong Originality DOG IV is a perfect example. What makes it so original? What kind of dog were they envisioning when designing this car? It has the bulk of a German shepherd, and the finesse of a slobbering chihuahua. (But also the superior drift power of a golden retriever chasing a tennis ball.) Some other greats include the Toyomata KINGROADER, the Wisdow Heavey Industry GTV4 (sic), and the Genki METEORA, one of my favorite Linkin Park albums. Go play this game right now. — L. Fisher

#58. BattleTanx: Global Assault

October 12, 1999
The 3DO Company
$64.99 on Amazon


Oh, this is awesome. Or at least this version is; apparently the PlayStation version is garbage, but this is dope. Maybe my bias is showing because I love the Dynasty Warriors games more than anyone ever should and this game is basically Dynasty Warriors but you’re a tank. The story doesn’t make a bit of goddamn sense, but I don’t care? I’m a tank blitzing my way across the whole USA and mowing down every single thing in my path with power-ups and battle upgrades all in the distant apocalyptic future of 2006. In my brief chaotic playthrough, I don’t think I found much (besides level barriers) that wasn’t completely destructible. The different cities technically had variance, but does any of that matter when the whole city gets leveled by tank treads everywhere? Incredibly fun, if non-stop chaotic, and makes me shed a tear at what we as a people have missed by having the battle cars genre shrivel up around the turn of the millennium. — W. Quant

#57. Madden NFL 2002

September 12, 2001
EA Tiburon
EA Sports
$23.78 on Amazon

With superior versions available for the GameCube and PlayStation 2, this late stage N64 release is like a good game stuffed into a bad game stuffed into a turkey. It’s the last one they made on the system, so unsurprisingly it’s got the best gameplay. Combine that with the return of Madden Cards and you got the best football game on the system. Madden 2002 also has a bonus copy of Madden ‘93 included, but let’s be honest, you’re emulating this if anything, so a game-within-a-game is merely a neat footnote, not really worth anything at all today. Its only value would be for a broken writer desperately trying to come up with copy on a fifth nearly-identical Madden game for a big list. Probably not gonna do a lot for today’s player. I think it’s a great feature, though. Just a great, great feature. Really nice! — M. Roebuck

#56. Mischief Makers

Treasure
Nintendo
$69.94 on Amazon


The then-groundbreaking hardware of the Nintendo 64 inspired different developers in different ways. In many, many cases, they created games that answered the question “What if we took one of our existing properties and made a 3D version of it that’s charmingly wonky at best and completely unplayable at worst?” That’s why it was so refreshing to break out Mischief Makers, which delivers a smooth, vibrant, 2.5D platforming/action/puzzle experience with inventive gameplay mechanics and mercifully limited lore. The whole thing just works; even when I wasn’t sure how I would advance to the next stage, I had a blast jumping and dashing and grabbing and shaking my way around Planet Clancer. Am I basically praising this game just for not being broken and attempting to do something new? Yes. That alone makes it significantly better than most of the N64’s library. Mischief Makers is like one of its optional collectibles (that I never tried to get but I’m sure there’s a fun solution I could figure out eventually): a hidden gem. — C. Dean

Honestly, I wasn’t planning on it, but now that you’ve brought it up, I would love to shake you, using the down button on the D-pad, to see what items fall out.

#55. NBA Hangtime

January 17, 1997
Midway
Midway
$49.99 on Amazon

 

Clear goaltending here

If you loved the old NBA Jam games, you could still find its rim-rocking baseline-blasting hoop-hoopin’ three-point-shootin’ boom-shakalaking stuff-a-basketball-up-your-ass brand of 2-on-2 basketball, you just had to go to the store and say “NBA Hang Time.” It was like a whole speakeasy thing. In my particular example, the young man at the FuncoLand used to let me take a swig off of his flask for every new game I pre-ordered, so that’s actually a really great comparison. Anyway, for an arcade port of a frenetic arcade style game, there’s a lot of replayability here. In addition to classic NBA Jam gameplay you get to create and progress a character as well as enjoy some of the smoothest animations on the system, courtesy of the established graphics of the series being present here instead of the standard issue gangly polygonal figures found in every other basketball game of the system (including its superior sequel NBA Showtime: NBA on NBC.) — M. Roebuck

#54. F-Zero X

July 14, 1998
Nintendo EAD
Nintendo
$104.99 on Amazon

The X stands for eXemplary acceleration.

F-Zero X is the second spinoff game for Smash Bros. character Captain Falcon. It’s a sci-fi racing game that puts thirty supersonic racers on a zero-gravity track. Your speed is on-screen at all times – usually around a thousand km/hr – and between the micro-adjustments required during steering and the massive airtime, you can really feel it. One unique attribute of the game is the ability to boost your speed by consuming your own health, so skilled players can push themselves near death to reap quick rewards. You can also attack low-health rivals. Just like in real life, dying during a race automatically puts you in last place, and the game puts a helpful ‘rival’ tag above the first-place scorer so you always know who to kill. All of this makes for a unique, challenging racer, but there’s not much to it beyond the races themselves. It offers a ‘Death Race’ side mode that’s too slow to be much fun. There’s not much character to the tracks, either. Most of them are just strips of various colors. Overall, a great racing game that sacrifices style for smooth gameplay. It’s a decent trade-off. — M. Katz

Screw you, James McCloud. You’re supposed to be dead.

 

 

#53. NHL ‘99

October 1, 1998
EA Canada
EA Sports
$29.99 on Amazon

This era of games had two franchises that vied for hockey dominance: NHL and FaceOff. Of the seven hockey games released on the Nintendo 64, only one of them was from either series. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the best hockey game on the system by default. Not to automatically dismiss the Breakaway’s and Blades of Steel’s available on the system because of the mass consensus; I played them all, and this one just fucks is all. All of those other games were new franchises finding their footing, so of course EA had an unfair advantage with their acclaimed series of yearly hockey games that went back to 1991. It’s got the best graphics, the best shooting, the best presentation, you get it. I understand if some of you don’t believe me, but once upon a time, before they were known as the literal worst company in the world (two years in a row), EA was the sassy company with super intense commercials that made the dope ass hockey games. For real. — M. Roebuck

#52. Snowboard Kids 2

March 2, 1999
Racdym
Atlus
$139.95 on Amazon

More 1080° meets Mario Kart with a lot of the same pros and cons as the first Snowboard Kids. The soundtrack still fucking RIPS* and catching the ski lift at the bottom of each lap still fucking SUCKS. Sure, it’s a part of the skiing experience, ya gotta get back up to the top of the hill somehow. But frantically trying to interpret which side of the landing the ski lift is on while you approach the bottom of the mountain is like if Gran Turismo put a strange emphasis having to figure out which side of the car the gas tank is on as you were arriving at a Shell station. I just don’t need that part of the experience, realistic or not. And so what if it’s realistic? Wendy just shrunk us with some kind of ray gun and now we’re snowboarding on her fucking piano, why am I still catching a ski lift to get back up the stairs? Oh yeah, there’s a story mode now. It’s goofy and not particularly coherent but it’s a lot of fun. — M. Roebuck

* I’m too old to slay “slaps,” okay? I said it once at a Chipotle and all the employees laughed at me. Next time I’ll just say “Thanks, this looks like a good burrito,” and leave it at that.

#51. Ms. Pac Man: Maze Madness

November 12, 2000
Namco Hometek
Namco
$54.99 on Amazon

Talk about a title that tells you everything. This is Ms. Pac-Man, she’s in a maze, and it’s madness. This is a sort-of puzzle platformer where you run through top-down Pac-Man mazes collecting dots, eating enemies, and pushing blocks to get to the end of the stage. I think there’s a story? I don’t know, man. You can get into a Zen state playing this. It’s so satisfying moving through the world. The controls are smooth, and the puzzles are simple but satisfying. You can go off the beaten path to collect extra lives and fruit, but if you don’t want to, no problem. The music is also punching way above its weight class. This game is not going to blow your mind, but it’s a comfy, chilled-out time that deserves a second look. Play this one on a snow day — S. Finkelstein

 

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