80 — Dick Durbin, D-Ill.
Another senator who quit playing early on. Apparently, he got frustrated that he couldn’t tell the other villagers what to do.
79 — Bill Hagerty, R-Tenn.
An active member of the Stalk Market community, Senator Hagerty spends hours every week buying and selling turnips. Despite the enormous amount of Bells that he’s earned, he hasn’t developed his island at all. Also, he frequently spreads bizarre rumors that Nintendo is somehow going to add Sharia Law to the game.
78 — Sherrod Brown, D-Ohio
Before I did my research, Senator Brown was near the top of my list. Oof. He either doesn’t know the Island Designer feature exists or he refuses to use it. It’s not even in a way that’s nodding to the old games or anything. It’s just dull.
77 — Angus King, I-Maine
Senator King made some cool custom patterns for New Balance t-shirts and hats, but got bummed out and stopped playing when he found out he couldn’t make custom shoes.
76 — Tina Smith, D-Minn.
This is a weird one. I guess when they put the order in for every Senator to get a copy of the game, Al Franken’s name was still on the list by mistake. They didn’t even notice until about a year ago, and by then, he had really left his mark on the island. Senator Smith has taken over the save file, but she’s got her work cut out for her. Franken did some wacky shit.
75 — Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn.
Refused to use the crafting table in the Resident Services tent, decrying it as, “socialism.” Progressed no further.
74 — Steve Daines, R-Mont.
He used to have an interesting island with a cool Chinese theme, clearly inspired by the time he spent there building factories for Procter & Gamble. Then, in March 2020, he suddenly redesigned it, removing all references to China. The island is super boring now.
73 — Jim Risch, R-Idaho
It’s just all potatoes. I don’t know if it’s an inside joke about his state’s traditional crop or if he just went all-in on the first vegetable that Leif would sell him, but there’s nothing here except regularly-harvested potatoes. He even chopped down all the trees.
72 — Christopher S. Murphy, D-Conn.
Senator Murphy successfully built a microcosm of his home state of Connecticut. Avoid this island at all costs.
71 — Tom Cotton, R-Ark.
He just built a bunch of pens out of jail walls and tries to trick visitors into them. Then he interrogates them to try to figure out why items on his island cost so much, since he enacted the Bell Boom Ordinance but didn’t actually read the description.
70 — Katie Britt, R-Ala.
To be fair to Senator Britt, she hasn’t had much time to work on her island yet, having only taken office this year. Still, she has spent most of that time posting ads for crypto scams on her bulletin board. She hasn’t even reached three stars yet.
69 — Edward J. Markey, D-Mass.
He’s really proud of having completed his museum. Like, weirdly proud. He forces all visitors to take a guided tour, seemingly unaware that most serious players have an identical building on their own islands.
68 — Jeanne Shaheen, D-N.H.
There’s not much to look at here, as Senator Shaheen spends most of her time playing Happy Home Paradise. She doesn’t even use the unlocked stuff in her own house. I guess that’s the way she likes to play, but it seems bizarre to me.
67 — Ben Ray Luján, D-N.M.
Covered top to bottom in solar panels. I guess it’s some misguided attempt to promote green energy? I’ve seen similar islands, and they’re just not that interesting.
66 — Rand Paul, R-Ky.
He hasn’t played much. Apparently, the game is “too scary” for him because it forces him to interact with his neighbors.
65 — Richard Blumenthal, D-Conn.
His island’s flag is a hideous combination of the coats of arms of both Harvard and Yale. The rest of the island is predictably unimpressive.
64 — Tim Kaine, D-Va.
This might not make any sense, but his island is the Animal Crossing equivalent of warm mayonnaise. It’s simultaneously plain and revolting. All of his big ticket decorations are from his own ABD, and he gets weirdly excited about showing them off.
63 — Thom Tillis, R-N.C.
Senator Tillis invites people to his island then yells at them when they walk over bridges because they didn’t contribute funds to its construction. He demands they pay a toll. How lame is that?
62 — Bernie Sanders, I-Vt.
Bernie used a second account to build another house, which isn’t a big deal in itself. The problem is that having two fully upgraded homes goes against his island’s entire Cottagecore aesthetic. They stick out like sore thumbs. If it was just one house, you might be able to ignore it, but two? Hoo, boy.
61 — Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill.
I was really looking forward to what Senator Duckworth had thought up for her island, but I guess she just really leaned into the fact that her last name has the word “duck” in it. It’s littered with decoy ducks and toy ducks in every color variety, and she regularly rotates through all the duck villagers. Cute, but kind of disappointing.
