USA – Comforted Americans were reportedly reassured today that, contrary to their general instincts and everything they’ve experienced in life, there really is no other side to the story, especially when it comes to U.S. foreign policy and military actions.
The reassured feeling reportedly swept the nation almost instantly, providing citizens a sort of quiet comfort required to carry on about their lives. Sources confirm the feeling was only reinforced by President Biden pledging to either fund or be personally involved in any conflict he hears of.
“Look, folks,” Biden said to reporters gathered outside an ice cream parlor. “If there’s a war out there, we’re gonna be a part of it. And on the right side. And don’t worry about the details or the other side of the story. Hospitals? Aid workers? It’s all very straightforward: we’re the greatest country in the world.”
Critics say every American nodding their heads in unison and saying “sounds good” to being told they are the good guys 100% of the time may not be great. However, these critics were promptly reassured that their concerns are unfounded, as there really isn’t anything to worry about.
“Why complicate things with nuance and history?” said a top White House advisor, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “When it comes to which side we bomb or buy bombs for, it’s best not to get lost in the details. That’s our tradition. And let’s be honest, it’s been working out great for us so far.”
The revelation that as a nation we need not worry about the reason current or future bad guys exist was reportedly a big relief to many.
“Oh, thank god,” said Barbara Cunningham, a local high school history teacher. “I don’t have to bother asking for an updated version of our textbooks with all that ‘blowback’ and ‘multiple perspectives’ nonsense. It’s like I always tell the kids: if it’s not in The Good Guys and The Bad Guys: A Comprehensive Guide to U.S. Foreign Policy then it isn’t worth knowing.”
“I’m proud of the price we got on those bombs by the way,” Frank Gavins, a teacher’s assistant apparently including himself with a “we” when talking about the federal government’s sale of advanced weaponry, added. “They drop bombs on bad guys. I’m not a bad guy. Are you?”
At press time, many Americans took to social media to urge others to continue voting for the good guys, a group they say probably doesn’t include unarmed aid workers.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Apr 5.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
The joint connecting the hand to the forearm in humans and other primates.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“T”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“S”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“I”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“R”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“W”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 213 days straight! So here goes nothing:
A braid or a length of hair that has been divided into three or more strands and interlaced over one another.
Wordle #1018 For April 2, 2024
“SERUM“
A liquid that contains the fluid portion of blood after it has clotted, typically containing antibodies or other substances extracted from blood for medical purposes.
Wordle #1017 For April 1, 2024
“FORCE“
The large, divided leaf of a fern or palm tree.
Wordle #1016 For March 31, 2024
“TABOO“
A social or cultural prohibition or restriction that forbids certain behaviors, actions, or practices due to social, religious, or moral beliefs.
Wordle #1015 For March 30, 2024
“FORCE“
The strength or power exerted by a person, group, or entity, often to achieve a particular outcome or effect.
Wordle #1014 For March 29, 2024
“REALM“
A domain, sphere, or territory, often conceptual or figurative, where certain activities, ideas, or entities exist or operate. It can also denote a kingdom, or sphere of influence, whether literal or metaphorical.
Wordle #1013 For March 28, 2024
“SPEAK“
To communicate verbally, to utter words or articulate sounds in order to convey meaning or express thoughts, ideas, or emotions.
Wordle #1012 For March 27, 2024
“STUNG“
The action of being bitten or pricked by an insect, typically resulting in pain, swelling, or irritation at the site of the bite; past tense and past participle form.
Wordle #1011 For March 26, 2024
“MAYOR“
The elected or appointed head of a municipal government, typically responsible for overseeing the administration and governance of a city or town.
Wordle #1010 For March 25, 2024
“SALLY“
A sudden charge out of a besieged place against the enemy; to set out from a place to engage in a venture or activity.
It can also mean a witty remark or a quick, energetic action.
A female given name.
Wordle #1009 For March 24, 2024
“TOWEL“
A piece of absorbent fabric or paper used for drying or wiping oneself or objects.
Wordle #1008 For March 23, 2024
“RISEN“
A verb that means to move from a lower position to a higher one, to ascend, or to become higher in level, position, or status; past participle form.
Wordle #1007 For March 22, 2024
“DECAY“
The gradual deterioration or decomposition of something over time.
Wordle #1006 For March 21, 2024
“SHADE“
The darkness created by an object blocking the light from the sun or a source of light.
Wordle #1005 For March 20, 2024
“LINGO“
A specialized or informal vocabulary used by a particular group, profession, or community.
Wordle #1004 For March 19, 2024
“ABIDE“
To accept or act in accordance with a rule, decision, or recommendation; to tolerate or endure something.
Wordle #1003 For March 18, 2024
“SPELT“
To recite, write, or form words with letters in the correct order; past tense and past participle of that verb.
Wordle #1002 For March 17, 2024
“SNORT“
To forcefully inhale air through the nose, often audibly, as a reflex action or to clear the nasal passages, and sometimes in the context of narcotics.
Wordle #1001 For March 16, 2024
“TOXIN“
A harmful substance produced by living organisms, such as bacteria, fungi, plants, or animals, that can cause damage to cells, tissues, or organs when ingested, inhaled, or otherwise absorbed into the body.
Wordle #1000 For March 15, 2024
“ERUPT“
To burst or break out suddenly and violently, especially in terms of a volcano releasing lava, ash, and gases.
Wordle #999 For March 14, 2024
“SINCE“
A point in time from which something has continued or developed; the starting point of a period of time.
Wordle #998 For March 13, 2024
“LOCAL“
Something that is nearby, or in the immediate vicinity, as opposed to being widespread or global. Or a person who resides in a particular area or community.
Wordle #997 For March 12, 2024
“HEAVE“
To lift, haul, or throw a heavy object with great effort. Also used to describe when a chest rises and falls rhythmically or spasmodically as if struggling to breathe.
Wordle #996 For March 11, 2024
“PESKY“
An adjective used informally to describe something or someone annoying, bothersome, or causing minor but persistent trouble or irritation.
Wordle #995 For March 10, 2024
“GRASP“
As a noun: a firm hold or grip.
As a verb: to understand or to comprehend something.
Wordle #994 For March 9, 2024
“CHEER“
As a verb, to express happiness or encouragement, oftentimes with a loud shout, slogan, or acclamation.
Wordle #993 For March 8, 2024
“EARLY“
An adjective that refers to something occurring or done before the expected, usual, or appointed time.
Wordle #992 For March 7, 2024
“CLONE“
Produce genetically identical copies of an organism, typically through asexual reproduction or by using biotechnological methods.
Wordle #991 For March 6, 2024
“TEARY“
An adjective that describes someone who is shedding a bodily fluid from their eyes, often as a result of sadness, emotion, or sensitivity.
Wordle #990 For March 5, 2024
“HUNCH“
A noun that refers to a feeling, intuition, or instinctive guess about something, often without any logical explanation or evidence.
A verb that means to bend or stoop forward, typically due to discomfort, fatigue, or cold.
Wordle #989 For March 4, 2024
“FLAME“
The highly visible, brightly glowing, and often flickering component of a fire.
Wordle #988 For March 3, 2024
“STATE“
As a noun: a political entity with defined geographical boundaries, a permanent population, and a government.
Wordle #987 For March 2, 2024
“URBAN“
The social, cultural, and economic aspects of city life, as opposed to rural living.
Wordle #986 For March 1, 2024
“FORTY“
A numeric value that can be arrived at by multiplying four by ten.
Ranked progression finally comes to The Finals on April 4, 2024, in the 2.3.0 update. It’s been four months since the stealth surprise release of the game in December, and the playerbase has been hankering for ranked progression, which is usually a staple of this multiplayer genre.
Besides that, there is some balance tweaking to the FAMAS, as well as to Power Shift, and some minor UI fixes.
The full patch notes for update 2.3.0 of The Finals are below.
UPDATE 2.3.0
Welcome to Update 2.3.0!We’re excited to announce our very first Discord Quest! You can earn the Skill Issue Set by streaming your gameplay to at least one friend on Discord for 15 minutes. It’s only available on the PC version of Discord, and will work even in a private DM! You can even invite your friend to play with you! Check out the outfit below:
You can also check out our store update:
And finally, the first version of the ranked progression indicator which shows how you move up and down in rank after each ranked tournament has been added! Your feedback continues to be critical on this, so please keep it coming!Here are the updates:
Balancing
FAMAS
Increased recoil curve recovery delay from 0.68 to 0.8
Increased recoil recovery time from 0.8 to 1
Dev note: These changes cause automatic recoil recovery to kick in slightly later than before a player finishes firing. It helps prevent an issue where players who pressed the fire button slightly slower than other players felt they saw a very different recoil pattern for the gun
Modes
Power Shift
Added SYS$HORIZON to the map pool
Enabled a new HUD
The platform will now deal damage to players that are squished underneath it, to fix the issue where you could be pushed through the ground when trapped
UI
Fixed a bug where the revive tab and respawn coins were swapped in the scoreboard
Corrected an issue that made the Career Circuit page appear smaller after viewing rewards on console
Fixed an issue where Bank Rabbit Bundle couldn’t be purchased via the outfit screen
Ranked
Added an end-of-match screen to indicate the change in rank
Added animations to the end-of-match rank screen to show when a player is close to going up or down in rank
NOTE: We have a known issue where all players will see the incorrect ranking the first time they boot the game. You can ignore this screen, as it will only show once and will not affect your actual ranking in any way. We decided it was better to go out with this incorrect screen, than to hold off on this feature for another week1.
Those are the brief patch notes for the mid-season update 2.3.0 on April 4 for The Finals across platforms.
Content Warning gets its first patch on April 3. The viral videogame hit has 6.2 million owners, and hit a peak player count of 204,439 within 24 hours of release. While free to own and keep for the first 24 hours, the game is now paid, for the low price of $7.99 USD.
Make sure you restart steam and verify the integrity of the game-files to get the new update!For any questions or pressing support matters please email support@landfall.se and we will get to you as soon as we are able.
Cozy crafting and farming sim, Palia, finally made its way to Steam just last week, and gets its first hotfix on April 3, 2024. Some minor issues are fixed on Steam, while Nintendo Switch Palians get the UI spruced up.
The complete patch notes for the 0.178.1 hotfix for Palia are below.
0.178.1 Hotfix
The following issues have been fixed:
Fixed an issue with the screen appearing black due to FOV settings.
Added in some fixes to mitigate crashing and freezes that would occur in the Housing Plot.
Added a temporary fix to an issue with Flowers merging into stacks and being unable to be taken out when placed into storage.
⚠️Please note: For the time being, only seeds will be able to be put into storage. Watered and fully-grown Flowers will not be placeable in storage.
Fixed the issue where having Toggle as a setting for Sprinting would disable after any other action.
Fixed an issue relating to Lockboxes granting storage limits higher than intended.
⚠️Please note: if you find yourself over the intended limit upon logging into the game after the hotfix, you will have to reduce your inventory amount to use the storage again.
Fixed an issue in the Temple of Gales where climbing the ancient ladder on the final island was overly difficult.
Fixed the appearance of textures with the Soothsayer Outfits.
The Harvelia Work Outfits, which were previously disabled due to an issue with textures, are now available again.
[Switch Only] Fixed a handful of UI issues that appeared only on the Switch.
[Switch Only] Fixed a missing “X” UI option when viewing a Romance Pin.
That’s the short and sweet of it for the patch notes on April 3 for Palia on Steam PC and Nintendo Switch.
MILWAUKEE — A workplace abuse lawsuit filed against Kanye West has sowed controversy amongst the public, but his die-hard fans have confirmed they are ready to ignore it. Fans like Nathan Vaughn, who first got into Kanye after ignoring the 2009 VMA controversy are excited to have something new to ignore.
“We’re really eating good with this one,” proclaimed Vaughn. “After weeks without something that makes you embarrassed to be a fan of his, the old Kanye is back. This may be the most excited I’ve been since he started hanging out with Trump to promote The Life of Pablo. The only downside is that eventually, I have to sit down and listen to whatever music he releases.”
The news has been shared with all members of Vaughn’s Kanye-centric Discord server, including a moderator known only by the pseudonym ‘skete’.
“Yeah, well, me and Nathan are still going to listen to him anyways,” proclaimed the moderator, who had to be informed of what happened this time. “That worker is probably lying, or they can’t understand his genius, or they’re out to get him. I’ll have to wait until his next Instagram post to really comment. I have no qualms listening to his new album until then though,” continued ‘skete’. “I hope that Ye responds to this in a big interview, so me and my buds can hold a listening party for it.“
Janice Vaughn, the mother of the “Skit #4” rapper’s superfan, has been privy to just about every outburst over the past decade.
“Kanye has always been a massive inspiration for our lil’ Yeezy,” gushed Ms. Vaughn. “Nathan dropped out of college a few years ago out of admiration for Kanye’s success story. We just wish he took the inspiration to launch a billionaire rap career instead of telling people that the Holocaust was ‘not even a big deal’. We wouldn’t even be upset if he started small and worked at the Gap”, explained Janice, worried about how to pay the bills. “One day, we’ll be able to recoup the money we spent buying him that stem player.”
At press time, Nathan was seen replying to any Ye-related post on social media informing them that ‘he made Graduation’, referring to an album he still has yet to listen to for the first time.
Hello Survivors!A new patch for Stranded: Alien Dawn has just landed, including a few bug fixes and minor improvements. Thank you again for all your feedback and suggestions.Keep on reading for the full changelog:
Survivors
Fixed a case in which survivors would sometimes become stuck in an infinite loop when attempting to scavenge an object.
Fixed a rare case in which survivors could sometimes become stuck in loops between eating and awaiting treatment.
Fixes for various cases in which the survivors could become stuck in midair after climbing stairs.
Construction
Fixed cases where construction direct orders in different working areas could incorrectly state that resources are not available.
Introduced optimisations related to placing floors.
Camp flags can no longer be placed under ceilings.
Fixed several issues to improve placement of objects on ceilings.
Robots and Guardians Scenario
Fixed previous version save games in which Hope incorrectly experienced meltdown despite having the "Cognitive stabilisers" trait enabled.
GUI/Text & Controls
Fixed a case where the game would not return to the main menu after pressing Escape.
Fixed case in which opening the Expeditions screen auto enables the visualisation of turret ranges.
Fixed cases in which incorrect status texts appear over animals.
Miscellaneous
Fixed an issue in the PC versions of the game that caused the audio to drop out.
Further optimisation has been completed to improve stability.
Mod Tools
Mod packages can now exceed 4GB.
Fixed some cases in which using mods with entities would sometimes cause crashes or softlocks.
Fixed the "Show Log" mod editor action not working.
Fixes related to mod entity fade distances.
Fixes related to data postprocessing when loading/unloading mods.
Reduced printed messages volume when mod editor is in use.
New modding tools include a Lua Debug Adapter, enabling mod makers to debug mods using Visual Studio Code while the game is running.
A debug executable is provided with this release that enables asserts and expanded testing functionalities when it is used.
The games Lua source code is now installed for reference.
That’s all there is to the patch notes for update 9 on April 3 for Stranded: Alien Dawn.
NEW YORK — A spokesman for the NYPD has reported that their newly implemented prosecution robot is now capable of falsely accusing up to 60 innocent people of crimes per second.
The robot, dubbed Artificial Crime Analysis Brain (ACAB) is designed to autonomously identify and arrest criminals. Sofia Franco, the inventor of the automaton, described the moment she created it.
“The city was about to put $125,000,000 towards frivolous things like subsidized housing and homeless shelters, but I told them to give it to me and I’d find a better way to get the people off the streets. So I designed ACAB to be the ultimate police officer, one that could clean up the streets with more efficiency than a human but with the logical thinking of a computer to avoid internal affairs investigations.”
NYPD Chief Abby O’Hara spoke on the android’s work in the field.
“ACAB’s purpose was to help clean up this city in a more efficient manner than regular human police could achieve. We believe it has accomplished that and did so by the book. No human police officer could frame as many poor, African-Americans as quickly as ACAB has. The experiment has been a success for the NYPD.”
Local civil rights leader Reverend Jessie Maynard issued a public statement about the android,
“It’s clear what’s necessary is reparations – take that damn thing to Microcenter so they can repair it! Moreover, a computer has no place in deciding who goes to jail; writing our essays, making our art, raising our children, taking our jobs, yes, but not putting us in jail! They claim that it’s just a few bad cookies, but it’s clear this is a system issue!”
At press time, the department has overclocked ACAB’s GPU to get it up to 90 framings a second.
Mario Mario the Brooklyn-born hero of the Mushroom Kingdom is facing criticism after he reportedly called Bowser a homophobic slur during one of their battles.
Sources close to the situation say that Mario blurted out some hateful slander during the heat of battle as he was spinning Bowser by the tail.
“Things have gotten pretty heated lately between them. Mario is getting really frustrated at Bowser’s constant attempts at kidnapping Princess Peach. During the battle, he just shouted this slur. I know he’s from the 80s but it was really uncalled for.” said a source who wished to remain anonymous.
Amidst reports of Mario making these remarks, residents of the Mushroom Kingdom have had mixed reactions on what should be done.
“I love Mario, we all do but he needs to be held accountable. There’s no need for that kind of behavior and he should apologize to Bowser and all the Birdos in the Mushroom Kingdom whom these comments hurt,” said a Blue Toad
“He’s an Italian from Brooklyn who grew up in the 80s, it’s just how he was raised. Let him say it, the Mushroom Kingdom has gotten too soft,” said a Red Toad.
When asked about Mario’s comments to Bowser, Princess Peach’s steward Toadsworth said that the two have a professional relationship.
“They both know the drill. Bowser tries to kidnap Peach and take over the Kingdom and Mario stops him. Mario has been clear about where he disagrees with Bowser but this is a decades-long relationship that is respectful in public and private. If Mario did say what is being reported then I’m sure it was an accidental slip-up in the heat of battle. Mario is a friend of all no matter the sexual orientation, race, species, or anything else.”
At press time, Mario was mercilessly murdering hoards of koopas to the protest of no one. He could not be reached for comment.
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Gina Wells who regularly complains about microtransactions on her Twitch channel to her viewers has confirmed in a recent stream that she’s actually just nostalgic for the time when her parents paid for her DLCs.
Wells revealed this information amid a tirade against Dragon’s Dogma 2’s microtransactions.
“I refuse to pay for DLC. Why the hell should I pay to change the appearance of my character, when it should be my parents paying for me to change the appearance of my character,” Wells lamented to her viewers, who were busy throwing bits and subscriptions at her en masse. “I just don’t see their problem. I paid seventy bucks for the game. The least they can do is throw in forty-two bucks so I can have everything the game has to offer from the start?”
“So now I have to assume Dragon’s Dogma 2’s DLC is trash because my dad took his credit card off my Steam account before I could purchase any of it,” Wells continued. “DLC used to be something really special. It felt like it expanded everything and the best part? It was free to me. Look at all the Sims expansions, the easy fatalities in Mortal Kombat X, and the horse armor in Oblivion. Amazing.”
Wells’s stream was interrupted by a phone call from her mom, which she took on speakerphone during the stream.
“Honey, we’re not doing any more Dragon Dog stuff,” said Wells’s mom. “We agreed that when you were old enough to come off our insurance, you’d be old enough to pay for your own games and extra game stuff. Also — you need to get your own HBO account. Your father and I got into an argument about who was watching this Euphoria smut. We can’t have that popping up in our feed when we have guests over to watch Bill Maher.”
Mark Hearns, a spokesperson for Capcom, encouraged parents to consider supporting their adult children with DLC purchases.
“To all the parents out there considering making a purchase of Dragon’s Dogma 2 DLC for your children: you won’t regret it,” Hearns said. “Even if those children are adults, and even if they should really be purchasing things with the money they make on their own. It’s about sharing those moments — moments when your adult child takes your money without you knowing what it was for, and without them understanding the actual value of your time.”
At press time, Wells had hopped offstream to finish Euphoria before her parents could lock her out of their account.
