Kevin Podas
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HYRULE — While minding her own business, the parasitic armored arachnid known as Queen Gohma was suddenly assaulted this week…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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If there’s one thing I know about society, it’s that it’s built atop a mountain of fairness. If things suddenly…
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Kevin Podas
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CHICAGO — After several weeks of discussing her patient’s relationship with his family, work-life balance, and dating history, therapist Andrea…
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Andy Holt
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Admit it: You need help beating the first boss in Elden Ring. It’s okay. We won’t judge you. To be…
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Andy Holt
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REALM OF DISDAIN — Shortly before losing a recent battle with an adventurer, local mid-level demon Ulgruuf the Unyielding reportedly…
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Neil Floyd
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LORDRAN — The Capra Demon, a challenging boss of the early Lower Undead Burg area in Dark Souls, has been…
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Owen Crowlie
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RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons…
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Mark Roebuck
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THE CITY — A hired goon taking cover behind a crate made a fatal error and left his ankle exposed,…
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Kevin Flynn
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FIRE TEMPLE, Hyrule — Becoming flustered after quickly realizing his mistake, the subterranean lava dragon Volvagia was in total disbelief…
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Charles E.P. Murphy
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MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the…
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