June 14, 2017 High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College LOS ANGELES — Graduating high school senior Cheryl Dowd announced she has no plans to port what has so far been a successful relationship with…
June 13, 2017 Gamer Changes Facebook Relationship Status After Brief, Disjointed Interaction with E3 Booth Model Gamer Changes Facebook Relationship Status After Brief, Disjointed Interaction with E3 Booth Model LOS ANGELES — Barry Reynolds, a 23 year old gamer attending his first E3 has officially changed his Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship”…
June 12, 2017 GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3 GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3 LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a used Nintendo 64 console made…
June 9, 2017 Here’s Why I Pre-Ordered the Sucker Edition for $2500 Here’s Why I Pre-Ordered the Sucker Edition for $2500 If you’re going to be a gamer, you need to know a good deal when you see one. When the gaming market went from hard…
June 8, 2017 New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board Having shifted locales recently from World War II to modern times and then going back to World War I, DICE announced today that the newest…
June 7, 2017 Remembering the Time Suge Knight Put a Hit on PaRappa the Rappa Remembering the Time Suge Knight Put a Hit on PaRappa the Rappa Not many people know this, but 20 years ago (during turbulent times in both the hip hop and console scenes) Death Row CEO Suge Knight…
June 6, 2017 How Violent Video Games Taught Me to Remove the Pool Steps and Just Watch Loved Ones Swim Around Endlessly Until They Die How Violent Video Games Taught Me to Remove the Pool Steps and Just Watch Loved Ones Swim Around Endlessly Until They Die I didn’t want to do it—I really didn’t. I tried to resolve the communication problems I had with my family, but it was like…
June 5, 2017 Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically pleasing breasts today. “After years…
June 5, 2017 Girl Who Claims to Like Video Games Grilled for 10 Hours at Senate Hearing Girl Who Claims to Like Video Games Grilled for 10 Hours at Senate Hearing WASHINGTON D.C. — After reportedly stating at a casual gathering of friends that her favorite series was Mass Effect and that she is “super excited” for…
