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Genius Notices ‘Hard Drive’ Article Was Already Posted Once Before

MADISON, Wisc. — Local genius and prolific social media commenter Nate Goulding was commended by online peers after noticing that an article recently posted by video game comedy website Hard Drive had been posted once before in the past.

“I don’t know what it is; I just notice things that other people don’t see. I guess it has something to do with my superior mind? It’s hard to say for sure, but that’s definitely a major factor,” Goulding explained to no one in particular. “I’m a big believer in the idea that you should share your gifts with the world. That’s just a little theory about life that I’ve picked up from the hundreds of superhero movies I’ve seen. With great power comes great responsibility. For me, that gift is my intelligence and my insights. How could I sleep at night, knowing that I’ve seen a Hard Drive article posted to Instagram in the past, without telling other people in the comments that I have? Either you die a hero or you live long enough to become the villain. And no, I don’t ever plan on clicking one of the links to read the full article.”

Other Hard Drive readers were reportedly thankful for Goulding’s comment pointing out the repeated headline.

“I was really enjoying the Hard Drive joke because I hadn’t seen it before, considering it was published in 2018 and I only found out about the website in 2020. But now that I know it’s old? You bet I’m fucking pissed off. Fuck this website!” said former Hard Drive fan Anushka Dillard. “How dare these people think they can get away with slipping old jokes by us like we won’t find out? I can’t believe the twisted psyches these Hard Drive editors must have, but I won’t have it! Not to mention, I also just realized that a YouTuber I like made a similar joke last year, and even though the Hard Drive article is four years old, I still feel like they ripped him off. Fuck Hard Drive!”

When goaded to comment, Hard Drive Editor-in-Chief Jeremy Kaplowitz was dismissive of complaints.

“I don’t care about the miserable little cretins who read our website. I am a video game satire comedy god,” Kaplowitz said, his eyes glowing with contempt and unknowable power. “Do you know who I am? I made a slightly viral video making fun of Jerry Seinfeld in 2019. I had a popular Facebook meme page in 2014. I have several tweets that masterfully utilize irony to destroy the opinions of those who disagree with me online. How dare these peons step before me? I am an unstoppable force of internet comedy. The world will crumble at my feet long before I ever fall from the mountaintop of humor at which I reside! Every sentence I say could be followed up with an advertisement for a vibrator or glowy lights for your bedroom. Hahahaha! I’m laughing! Hoohhahaaahah!”

At press time, all comments arguing about Hard Drive’s history of reposting were usurped across social media feeds after a really angry guy thought the article was real news.

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