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Elon Musk’s Daughter Tells Him She Will Be Cutting Family Member Headcount by 10%

SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk’s 18-year-old daughter, who recently came out as transgender, alerted him to impending family member cuts via a curt email, sources report.

“The Musk Family will be reducing members by 10% as we have become unsatisfied in many areas, effectively immediately,” read the email. “Our father’s recent transphobic tweets, his support for the Republican party, his insistence on hoarding wealth, and his pervasive mistreatment of employees (not to mention alleged sexual harassment) has given us a ‘super bad feeling.’ Note that this estrangement does, in fact, apply to all holidays, last names, and any contact moving forward. We would say that we wish Mr. Musk the best, but alas, we do not.” 

Elon Musk reportedly brushed off the disownment by stating that he plans to move the familial layoff target down to 3%.

“Considering the number of employees — I mean children — that I have, we grew very fast on that side. And I do expect our headcount to increase as our youngest hits 6 months of age,” Musk said. “So overall, even with her cutting off all contact, the net change to the family will only be about a total cut of 3%,” he said, noting that the infant “counts less.” 

“I’m not surprised to see family member numbers drop anyway,” Musk added, “as I enter this moral recession.”

Musician Grimes, the mother of two of Musk’s children, has been supportive of Musk’s daughter’s decision. 

“She has the right to change her name and petition for her birth certificate to be amended in order to reflect her transgender identity, and to effectively separate herself from her father,” Grimes stated. “And I will take this opportunity to learn about how to deal with your child wanting to go through the legal name change process, as I’m sure X Æ A-Xii and Exa Dark Sideræl will be doing so literally the second they are able.”

Musk’s daughter could not be reached for comment, and honestly, good for her.