Despite being one of the greatest television shows of all time, it can be hard to go back and watch Seinfeld sometimes without wondering what kind of games everyone would enjoy playing. Tragically, the writers left this concern on the cutting room floor, choosing not to develop them in this way. But today we’ll be righting those wrongs, by going over 25 Seinfeld characters and their favorite video games to play.
Babu Bhatt: Cooking Mama
Babu’s love of hospitality and world cuisine made him an easy mark for Cooking Mama on the Nintendo DS. He only wants to please people and feed them delicious food, just like the titular Cooking Mama herself.
David Puddy: Mario Kart 64
“Ya can’t beat the classics.” Bet you read that in his voice, huh? Well that’s Puddy’s motto when it comes to Mario Kart, his favorite video game series. Elaine tries to get into it for him, but then he breaks up with her, saying he “doesn’t want to date a gamer girl.” “But we finally have something in common now!”
Elaine Benes: Dance Dance Revolution
Good god, somebody please take this game away from her. You’d think after enough failing scores she’d give up, but nope, she’s still at it. Lord help you if you’re out at an arcade with her and she spots a DDR machine. Just stand around until she’s done and pretend like you don’t know her.
Estelle Costanza: Wii Sports (Tennis)
George bought his parents a Wii just to get them out of his hair, but it backfired completely when his mom hurt her elbow playing against him. Now all she does is blame George for her misfortunes– all of them, not just the tennis elbow.
Frank Costanza: Wii Sports (Bowling)
Billiards is more of his game, but when his pool table finally broke, Frank became simply obsessed with Wii Sports bowling after George got it for his parents as a gift to keep them preoccupied. He’s extremely competitive, and won’t stop playing until he wins.
George Costanza: Dragon Quest III
George doesn’t let it be known to many that he has refined, exquisite taste in gaming outside of Frogger. In particular, he’s quite fond of Dragon Quest, especially the third entry, citing it as the point where the series really came into its own. He’s kind of neurotic about only playing it on a CRT, and the same goes for any retro games in his catalogue.
George Steinbrenner: MLB: The Show
We never see his face, and only ever hear his voice (which sounds awfully familiar for some reason), but George Steinbrenner absolutely loves MLB: The Show. You can really do a lot of stuff in these games, and given the fact that Steinbrenner doesn’t do much at his job that he doesn’t delegate to lower employees, this game gives him that feel of calling the shots and being respected.
Helen Seinfeld: Cookie Clicker
Jerry’s mom, Helen Seinfeld, really just enjoys anything to mindlessly play while also browsing facebook on her home computer. Yes, I know it’s weird to think about facebook in terms of Seinfeld, but come on there’s a whole twitter account dedicated to modern Seinfeld premises.
J. Peterman: Style Savvy
This eccentric fashion connoisseur is always looking for new inspiration for clothing to sell, and has found no better source than Style Savvy on the Nintendo DS. Peterman loves holding the system sideways like a book and using the stylus to select fun outfits for the characters to wear.
Jackie Chiles: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Jackie Chiles is an over-the-top lawyer who loves the Ace Attorney video game series. The games are larger than life, much like himself, and there’s no case he can’t win. He’s determined to take down Edgeworth at every chance he gets, especially if there’s a hot coffee case.
Jerry Seinfeld: Sonic the Hedgehog
Eagle-eyed fans will notice that Jerry has been a gamer all along. Several different games can be found on the bookshelf in his apartment: Sim City, Kid Icarus, Tetris for NES, and more. But nothing compares to Jerry’s one true gaming love: Sonic the Hedgehog for the Sega Genesis. Jerry loves Sonic’s quick wit and attitude, and claims he could even beat Sonic in a footrace if he were real. Just the classics for Jerry, though– as soon as Sonic went 3D, it was like the masturbation contest all over again: “I’m out.”
Kenny Bania: Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
“Hey Jerry, I heard you liked Sonic, so I got the game on Xbox! It’s pretty great!” Bania only got into Sonic just because Jerry likes it, and of course he picks Sonic 06 to start with. If fans didn’t think the series jumped the shark by this point, they definitely did now. Bania has horrible taste though, so he doesn’t even notice. Jerry just wishes he would stop calling him to update him on his progress. “Jerry, I just got to the Iblis Trigger. This is gold!”
Joe Davola: Manhunt
These games had a lot of controversy surrounding them, and looking back on it, yeah that kinda makes sense. It’s only natural that someone as disturbed as “Crazy” Joe Davola would gravitate towards them. Nobody tell him about the sequel on Wii where you can strangle someone to death with a remote and nunchuk.
Kramer: LSD: Dream Emulator
Here’s my spec script idea for a Kramer B-plot: Kramer is gifted a box of mysterious Japanese PS1 import games by his friend Bob Sacamano, and becomes enthralled by one in particular: LSD: Dream Emulator. He stops leaving his apartment, and begins to act strangely around everyone in the building. After isolating himself for weeks on end, he’s forced to throw his PlayStation away to rid him of what he calls the “curse,” only to immediately return back to normal. “That game did things to me, Jerry! Unspeakable things!”
Lloyd Braun: Final Fantasy VII
George’s childhood rival, Lloyd Braun, is more successful than him in nearly every possible way. So of course they would butt heads on what they consider to be the quintessential JRPG. Lloyd insists that it’s Final Fantasy VII, even though George secretly thinks Lloyd’s tastes are too broad and mainstream. The rivalry is once again ignited when remakes of both Final Fantasy VII and Dragon Quest III are announced.
Mickey Abbott: Some Newgrounds dating sim
Mickey has spent a lot of time playing Newgrounds dating sims, and cites it as a big reason for why he is “so good with the ladies.” Some say his love for dating sims even inspired Kramer to start his own!
Morty Seinfeld: Tetris
Morty’s retired, and doesn’t want to deal with anything too challenging, difficult, or annoying. Tetris suits him just fine, until “the pieces are moving too damn fast!” Besides, it’s something to play on the toilet to kill some time, anyway.
Mr. Pitt: Chess.com
In his downtime, Mr. Pitt loves matching wits with strangers by playing random matches against people on chess.com. Of course while no one is ever good enough for him, he continues on hoping to one day find a formidable opponent.
Mr. Wilhelm: Papers, Please
George’s former supervisor Mr. Wilhelm loves Papers, Please. The organizational elements of the game remind him of the busy work of his own job, which he considers himself to be quite good at until he isn’t anymore.
Newman: Postal
A little on-the-nose, sure, but Newman loves a lot of FPS games. Postal just happens to be his favorite, for whatever reason.
Russell Dalrymple: L.A. Noire
Not only does Russell work in the entertainment industry and take frequent trips to Los Angeles, but he’s incredibly good at reading people, and always seems to know when somebody is lying or extending the truth. Naturally these skills carried over easily into L.A. Noire. If only he could hold down his job that well at NBC.
Soup Nazi: Dark Souls II
Don’t even THINK about telling him that Dark Souls II sucks, or that it’s the worst one in the series. He’s very protective of it, and will systematically tear you apart if you speak ill of it. “NO SOULS FOR YOU!”
Susan Ross: Rollercoaster Tycoon
George’s on again, off again, and then very off again romantic interest Susan Ross goes nuts for Rollercoaster Tycoon, and the Tycoon games in general. Her business savvy skills come in handy to keep a park’s profits purely in the green. She knows exactly how many hot dog stands, bathrooms, and mascots to include for a perfect run. It’s too bad her life became an actual rollercoaster after meeting George and his friends.
Tim Whatley: Leisure Suit Larry
You ever look at the Leisure Suit Larry games and wonder “who even plays these?” Well this sleazebag dentist sure does, and he’s even sourced a couple of pickup lines from Larry himself. Jerry called him out on it once, but Tim outright denied it. Jerry’s still determined to prove him wrong though.
Uncle Leo: Anything free or on sale
“Jerry, did you see what your cousin Jeffrey bought me in the Steam sale?” Never one to pass up a good deal, Leo brags about the fact that he’s never bought a game at full price in his entire life. Nobody believes him of course, but you better believe he didn’t buy Tears of the Kingdom at 70 dollars. “70 dollars, Jerry! That’s what they’re asking for for the new Zelda! Can you believe it, Jerry?” “I know, Uncle Leo, I know.”
