KATHMANDU, Nepal — In response to the rising number of people attempting to summit Mt. Everest, the Tourism Board of Nepal has partnered with the Walt Disney Company to expedite the treacherous mount for the highest-paying climbers.
“It’s with great honor that we can bring this experience to tech moguls and hedge fund owners who want to summit the tallest peak on earth,” says Josh D’Amaro, Chairman of Disney Experiences. “The attraction, which we are calling ‘Everest: The Expedition,’ will be the most immersive mountain climbing simulation in history. Climbing Mount Everest is one of the most fulfilling experiences one can have in life and we believe that it is our duty to make sure the rich and privileged can experience it before everyone else.”
After noticing growing queues at the mountain’s peak, along with a large sum of money lost from climbers who never make it back down, the government of Nepal looked to the American media conglomerate for guidance.
“Hardly anyone dies in Disney World,” said Dr. Dhananjay Regmi, CEO of Nepal’s Tourism Board. “They’ve got space mountains, splash mountains, and even their own Everest! Not to mention the floating mountains of Pandora: The World of Avatar,” he gleefully exclaimed wearing the iconic Mickey Mouse ears.
The government-funded attraction, which is set to open during peak climbing season 2025, will combine Disney’s patented Imagineering Technology with their universally beloved queueing philosophy.
“We’re going to take everything you love about waiting in lines at Disney World and bring it right here to Nepal!” Imagineer Joe Rohde told the press. “After returning a few artifacts we totally and legitimately borrowed to decorate our Asia pavilion, and spreading just a little bit of pixie dust, we’ll have you 29,032 feet above sea level in no time!”
The fast pass, which will require the purchase of a ticket into Everest base camp – as well as a wearable ‘Everest Band’ at an extra fee – will allow the guest to book a Disney-appointed sherpa for the climb. However, sherpas are limited, and booking windows fill quickly after being posted at 7 AM NPT.
At press time, Nepal’s Board of Tourism hinted at a possible Yeti encounter for those who purchase the FastPass+ ticket.
