Seth Finkelstein
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Okay, first off, I don’t even know why we’re having this Emergency Meeting. Don’t get me wrong, Yellow’s death is…
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Jimmy Beliakoff
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Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused…
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Andy Holt
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BOSTON — Researchers have made an astonishing breakthrough in the study of time and space, discovering a measurement small enough…
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Luis Gomez
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Listen, we’ve been friends for years now, and I think it’s time we take our brotastic adventures one step further.…
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Chandler Dean
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HYMERA — At the end of a harrowing journey to rescue his land from certain devastation, steadfast warrior Demetrios Cherwink…
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WASHINGTON — Local child Janette Lyons, 7, has been banned from participating in Alphabet Soup at lunch in the Lyons…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Famous Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet has stepped down as the voice of Mario after failing…
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Tyler Simpson
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EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect…
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Quinn Brown
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ROCHESTER, Minn. — Dying 80-year-old man Rex Titus revealed to friends and family today that, after a decade of battling…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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GREENSBORO, N.C. — Local gamer Harry Olsen, who has sucked shit at every single video game he has ever played,…
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