February 5, 2022 Wizard Community College Delivers Acceptance Letters by Seagull Wizard Community College Delivers Acceptance Letters by Seagull YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Municipal cuts to magical education have forced Lemonpeel Community College for Witchcraft and Wizardry’s communications team to begin sending letters by seagull,…
November 27, 2021 Hogwarts Celebrates Record-Setting Year With Only Four Students Killed Hogwarts Celebrates Record-Setting Year With Only Four Students Killed HIGHLANDS, Scotland — In a response both joyful and triumphant, students and teachers from the famed wizarding school celebrated the record-setting fact that only four…
November 5, 2021 JK Rowling Confirms Harry Potter Loved the New Dave Chappelle Special JK Rowling Confirms Harry Potter Loved the New Dave Chappelle Special EDINBURGH, Scotland — Author JK Rowling confirmed today that Harry Potter, the titular character in her series of fantasy novels, really enjoyed Dave Chappelle’s latest…
November 4, 2021 Hogwarts Student Gets Automatic Straight A’s After Roommate Exploded by Ghost Hogwarts Student Gets Automatic Straight A’s After Roommate Exploded by Ghost HIGHLANDS, Scotland — Second year Hogwarts student Melvin Puddlefoot reportedly received all As on his report card after his roommate Stephan Lee was exploded by…
March 28, 2019 Harry Potter Now Receiving Donation Requests From Hogwarts Harry Potter Now Receiving Donation Requests From Hogwarts LONDON — ‘The Boy Who Lived’ and now-famous Auror Harry Potter has reportedly been inundated by donation request owls from his alma mater, Hogwarts School…
August 18, 2018 New Study Into Hogwarts House-Sorting Practices Reveals Stark Racial Bias New Study Into Hogwarts House-Sorting Practices Reveals Stark Racial Bias SCOTLAND — A new study into the decision-making involved in sorting Hogwarts students into housing, which is done by a committee of one sentient hat,…
