#200. V-Rally Edition ‘99
September 1999
Infogrames
Infogrames
This rally racing game made an interesting decision to give you audio cues about upcoming turns as they approached, which sounds easier than, say, trying to keep an eye on a mini-map on your HUD. However, there is no music in the racing segments, and there are a LOT of little turns in the tracks. This results in a soundtrack that’s just a guy saying “easy left, easy right, easy left into easy right,” at you constantly. It’s maddening. This game was supposedly very well researched and realistic for its time, but I think that must be the PS1 version because this was a constant struggle not to brush up against something and have my car spin out like a damn tornado. I think they should’ve called this game 1080° Rally Racing if you want to know what I think, although that would’ve oversold the amount of fun that’s here. The best thing I can say about the graphics in this game is that due to the appalling level of pop-in, you really don’t spend any more time with them than you have to. — M. Roebuck
#199. Asteroids Hyper 64
December 14, 1999
Syrox Development
Crave Entertainment
I feel like back in the days of the Atari 2600, the Colecovision, the Intellivision, the Magnavox, the SuperBox, the MegaGadget, the FlexiDoohickey, and the Tonka-Playmobil Amusement Device 4000, developers could get away with copying-and-pasting really simple arcade games—because hey, some kid’s gonna wanna play Tetris on whatever sad hunk of plastic their parents got them for Christmas after doing absolutely no research into the system’s library. But by 1999, standards were changing. You couldn’t just put Asteroids on the Nintendo 64. You had to do just a little bit better. You had to make it, in some way, 64. Or—if you were feeling really ambitious—Hyper 64. So what we have here is Asteroids, but with a few paragraphs of laser-tag-quality backstory, a handful of static maps that are giving/serving desktop background, and blurry 3D polygons instead of crisp 2D designs. There’s some groovy spooky sci-fi music on the menu screen, which gave me hope that maybe this game would at least have a better soundtrack than the original Asteroids, but no: once you start the game itself, you’ll only have laser pulses and the occasional explosion to puncture the silence. In space, no one can hear you scream the word “SHOVELWARE.” — C. Dean
#198. Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside
April 27, 1998
Left Field Productions
Nintendo
Awkward button mapping holds this one back, specifically in choosing who you control. C-Up and C-Down cycle you through players in an unconventional and inexplicable manner. It’s madness. On the bright side, while struggling with the control scheme, all of my computer controlled defensive players were performing Dennis Rodman-like levels of defense, grabbing loose balls and forcing steals while I awkwardly shuffled between controlling the player closest to the rim and the player closest to the ball. So I appreciated that. I feel like it’s worth mentioning that for a game that clearly fancies itself an NBA simulator, you can just harass the opposing point guard for an easy 20 steals a game à la NBA Jam, so that’s either really fun or kind of a drag. Of all the basketball games on the Nintendo 64, this sure is one of them. — M. Roebuck
#197. Turok 3: Shadow of Oblivion
Acclaim Studios Austin
Acclaim
August 31, 2000
$119.99 on Amazon
Cinematically, this series has come a long way. The graphics and voice acting are very impressive and push the Nintendo 64 to its limits. It’s technologically more impressive than its predecessors, feeling more in line with Perfect Dark and other later entries in the Nintendo 64’s catalog. Thematically this series is all over the place, but I guess that’s what fans love about it, and if nothing else, it’s pretty unique in that regard. Unfortunately, same as previous entries, the default control scheme is atrocious. Again, they start you off using C-buttons to move and the control stick as a camera to look around, which makes it feel like my brain was flipped turned upside down as I try to unlearn ever y first-person control scheme since then. Yes you can change it, but it’s not explicitly stated or obvious. Why start players off like this, I don’t know, but at least the control scheme is as consistently confusing as its story. — K. Podas
#196. LEGO Racers
October 12, 1999
High Voltage Software
Lego Media
If you can comprehend the words ‘Lego’ and ‘Racers’ in tandem with each other, there’s a reasonable assumption to be made about the mental image that conjures. Whatever that is, I can assure you – it’s accurate. This thing does what it says on the package and not a damn thing more. It’s Lego guys in cars, they race a circuit, they pick up items, etcetera. They shoulda called this shit Playmobil Racers. It feels like something a parent gives to a kid instead of Mario Kart as a cruel long-con prank to alienate them from their peers. However, the one thing I’ll give it is the inclusion of an item I haven’t come across in any other kart racer. The white brick will take any item you’ve picked up and boost it. Imagine if you could get a green shell and upgrade it to blue. It’s pretty tight. Y’know what, I take back what I said: This is at the very least Megabloks Racers. — W. MacDonald
#195. Quake
March 24, 1998
id Software
Midway
$49.98 on Amazon
If you’ve ever had the inexplicable craving for a flatter, clunkier, aesthetically-drained Doom sequel, Quake on the N64 will cure what ails you.
As is the common case with most PC games ported to console in the 90’s, anything charming or satisfying to be found in the original were lost in translation. Simply put, it plays like a DOS game and looks like a Minecraft texture pack. There certainly has to be good cause for the legacy surrounding the game’s original release, there’s even still vague remnants of it here. But as this iteration stands, it screams generic run-off. This is something that would make Tony Soprano hang his head in shame after catching AJ playing it.
However, I gotta throw a bone to the soundtrack. For the genre and era, it absolutely knocks. It can be dulcet, ambient and spooky or catchy, groovy and just downright filthy. Stuttered melodies, rolling hi-hats and percussion are used in a fashion practically resembling contemporary trap production. Never before has the score for an N64 title had more sonically in common with Three 6 Mafia. (Well, except for GoldenEye maybe)
Anyway, I’m sure this has to cost like, a single red penny on Steam these days. Play it as intended – hunched over a monitor, trying to invent speed-running. — W. MacDonald
#194. NASCAR 2000
Stormfront Studios
EA Sports
September 30, 1999
$24.99 on Amazon
When you think about NASCAR, the first thing you may think of is racing around a large circular track over and over. If that’s your bag, well, NASCAR 2000 lets you live out that extremely specific fantasy while competing in the ‘Cracker Barrel 500”.’
Part of the short-lived ‘Nintendo 64 Sports’ lineup, which is the equivalent of Gamer Jock Jams, NASCAR 2000 is definitely a more grounded racing game compared to most of its competitors. You won’t find Rainbow Road or San Francisco Extreme Racing here. Nope, just a big oval and different kinds of gravel. Fun! I guess NASCAR fans might get something out of this, and having to use pit stops to change out your gear is an appropriate and somewhat interesting mechanic, but honestly I think most people would be bored to death by it. I know I would be. But alas, I have more Nintendo 64 racing games to review. — K. Podas
#193. Lode Runner 3-D
March 26, 1999
Big Bang
Infogrames
Lode Runner 3-D is a slow version of Captain Toad that’s infinitely less cute. It’s also not really 3D and instead has bizarrely linear 2.5D tracks that curve into fusterclucks, which is weird when you realize that Lode Runner 2 released a year prior and had gorgeous isometric 3D worlds. That game also isn’t great, but at least there was some style. 3-D is ugly and miserable throughout.
Oh and did we mention that the core game mechanic is shooting diagonal corners underneath you? With all due respect to the developers who toiled over this and die hard fans of the series: the fuck is that? It made sense when it was a simple puzzle game for early 80’s computers, but 16 years later with a new dimension, it’s such a baffling choice to base a game around.
At the end of the day, Lode Runner 3-D is a disappointing puzzle platformer that never really grew up from its early 80’s roots. It’s no hidden gem, it’s another N64 puzzler that’s not necessarily difficult, just frustrating and devoid of enjoyment. — N. Krause
#192. Off Road Challenge
June 30, 1998
Avalanche Software
Midway
$40.85 on Amazon
Okay, I don’t think Nintendo was letting people develop racing games for their system in this era unless there was a Mojave Desert level added. I’m serious. Without fail, every racing game I’ve played for this list has a Mojave Desert level. Anyway, I always thought Ivan Stewart’s Off-Road Challenge was a seriously underrated arcade classic that was some of the most fun co-op coin-op you’d find in an arcade. Here, Midway has taken the DNA of that innovative and fun series and turned it into something that will make you say, “Oh yeah, this game definitely came out in 1997.” It’s all just really adequate. Off Road Challenge 64 is from the golden age of video game voiceover work, when you’d just come into the studio and scream “Checkpoint!” and “You’re hot!” and a few other phrases and be able to call it a day. It’s kinda fun. Not that fun. — M. Roebuck
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