#212. Dark Rift
July 8, 1997
Kronos Digital Entertainment
Vic Tokai
$17.17 on Amazon
Dark Rift is a fighting game that demands to be talked about in terms of its technical merits. Like how it’s the first Nintendo 64 game to run at 60fps. Or how it shook up the conventions of the genre and opted for a best 3-out-of-5 approach to its matches. Or how I played it for exactly four minutes before I was bored and sleepy. As the fidelity achievement would indicate, it’s far from the worst game to look at, and there’s nothing glaringly wrong or bad about it, it’s just, you know, fine.
Do you know what I’ve noticed playing all of these games that’s really starting to bother me? Why do console ports of arcade games leave a timer on the fighter select screen? I paid 70 dollars in 1997 money to play this game to my heart’s content, could I have more than a minute to select my generic fighter, please? Sorry, there’s plenty of games that do this, Dark Rift just drew the short straw. — M. Roebuck
#211. NBA Jam 2000
November 30, 1999
Acclaim
$50.00 on Amazon
Years after inexplicably trading in its personality-defining 2-on-2 NBA action to become an also-ran in the basketball sim games of the era, NBA Jam 2000 starts by letting players choose which type of game experience they want, “Sim,” or “Jam.” That’s right, this game is notable for being the NBA Jam game that put NBA Jam back in the NBA Jam series. So that had to be nice for fans of the series at the time. The truth is, however, if you want to simulate an NBA season on the Nintendo 64, you’re better off playing NBA Live or Courtside (or closing your eyes and just playing make believe, honestly) than this whistle-happy, disjointed version of it. As far as the 2-on-2 goes, it’s a sad recreation of what once made the series special, being done far better by the Hangtime series at this point. Someone really should have tied NBA Jam to a tree and shot it before it got here. Bet you thought there was a sports metaphor coming, huh? Nope. Dead dog. — M. Roebuck
#210. Aidyn Chronicles: The First Mage
H2O Entertainment
THQ
March 20, 2001
$84.99 on Amazon
To me this feels like the game that someone who hates RPGs would make if they had to make an RPG.
“Where should this game take place?”
“I don’t know. A forest, I guess? But also get some castles in there for sure.”
“What should the story be?”
“Doesn’t matter. Just make the cutscenes long as hell. These idiots love that.”
“What should it be called?”
“Fuckin’, uh, let’s say, The Aiden Chronicles. No! Put a ‘y’ in there. The Aidyn Chronicles. Yeah that’s a medieval-ass name for sure. They’ll eat that shit up.”
This gets some points just for being a role-playing game on a console largely bereft of them, and it’s probably better than about a quarter of the console’s library just by functioning and lasting multiple hours. But it plays lifelessly. In fact, it’s not just that someone who hates RPGs designed it—it’s as if they gave ChatGPT the above prompts and let generative AI do the rest. The result is textbook N64 blunky (boring and clunky) and blugly (bland and ugly). Oh and the combat blows. BEGONE, POSTHASTE! — C. Dean
#209. FIFA Soccer 64
March 31, 1997
EA Canada
Electronic Arts
$25.49 on Amazon
This is a respectable enough 3D debut, but far from worth playing today, especially when you consider other options on the system. The most notable thing about this game is that the strength of its American sales caused EA to change its mind about N64 production, inspiring them to do a 1080 and release other games on the system after all. If you enjoyed NHL ‘99, Madden, or the later (and way better) FIFA games on the system, then thank this game, but just don’t play it or anything. If you do, you’ll encounter inconsistent framerates that slow to a crawl at times, jerky animation, and the inexplicable option to include a picture in picture mode that absolutely levels the game’s performance. Sure, one screen is cool, but have you ever played while watching two angles at once, uh, in extreme slow motion? — M. Roebuck
#208. Mace: The Dark Age
October 1997
Atari
Midway
$67.49 on Amazon
Mace: The Dark Age is like if Mortal Kombat came to someone in a dream and they woke up and scribbled down everything they could remember as they rapidly forgot why it seemed so fun. There’s fatalities and violence and combos, but it’s all just lifeless and unoriginal. The quality animation, horrid soundtrack, and Midway announcer guy screaming things at me all combine to make one say, “Yes, this is definitely a fighting game from the ‘90s I’ve never heard of.” Characters are the prerequisite mix of buff guys and midriff exposed ladies, with a couple of oddballs thrown in of course, here a skeleton and a hell beast thing. I can only recommend Mace: The Dark Age if you’re a horny 12-year-old wondering what to draw on your next notebook. — M. Roebuck
#207. WCW Nitro
February 1, 1999
Inland ProductionsNitro
THQ
$49.99 on Amazon
WCW Nitro may not be the best wrestling game out there. However, it is a wrestling video game out there. Like, it is literally just a wrestling game. It looks like a wrestling game. Most of the time it even actually plays like a wrestling game. But that’s about it. If you are already aware of the sport of wrestling and the concept of video games then WCW Nitro will do nothing to change your perception of either. — J. Knapp
#206. Madden NFL ‘99
September 1998
EA Tiburon
EA Sports
$25.49 on Amazon
Madden on 64 gets a little closer to immersion with this second installment. A little. On one memorable play, I was burned on a long TD pass and the wide receiver high-stepped the last few yards into the end zone, and ran over to shadowbox the goalpost. It’s a great little touch in a game with a lot of great little touches, but the dude’s arms still looked decrepit and jagged, like Rocky Balboa with the arms of Frosty the Snowman. It’s bizarre as hell today, but I’m sure at the time when this was the best looking game it was really cool. What’s my point? I don’t know. This game is fine. This is the last year the speed burst button doesn’t also incorporate a head down charge, making it the last year the interior running game is utter chaos, so personally if I’m gonna play a Madden on the 64, I’m gonna go for one that came after this. — M. Roebuck
#205. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
October 21, 1998
Iguana Entertainment
Acclaim
$47.54 on Amazon
The default control scheme in this game is truly awful. People bitch and moan about the controls being bad in GoldenEye, but have you gotten your hands on Turok lately? It’s rough, and that’s being polite. The controls in the first Turok were already bad, but that’s sort of forgivable. It was one of the earliest games to be released on the N64, when 3D games and first-person games in general were still in their infancy. So what if the control stick is the camera and the C-buttons are movement, even though it should be the other way around? It was uncharted territory. Thankfully you can at least change them in this game, which took me a while to figure out, so hopefully this spares somebody out there a headache. It’s not a whole lot better, but it makes traversing around this world of dinosaurs, dinosaur people, and… aliens, a bit easier. Seriously, what is going on in these games? — K. Podas
#204. All Star Tennis ’99
Smart Dog
Ubisoft
August 31, 1999
Hey now, it’s All Star Tennis ‘99, get your game on, go playyy. And… it certainly is a tennis game released in 1999, isn’t it? You play as, presumably, all-star tennis players of the time, in multiplayer matches or single player tournaments. It’s a down-to-earth, realistic simulation of TV tennis matches; aside from “bomb tennis” mode, that is. It’s pretty hilarious watching your character collapse to the ground as they step on a large cartoon bomb, considering how realistic everything else in the game is. That being said, the graphics are really hit-or-miss. Player characters and tennis courts look good, but every other character is a very noticeably flat 2D image. Seriously, the referee’s head gave me nightmares.
Also, the posh British announcer is rude as fuck! Anytime the crowd claps or cheers or expresses emotion of any kind, he will immediately be there to say “QUIET PLEASE” over and over. Is he an unlockable super boss or something? I’d love to lob a tennis ball into his mouth. — K. Podas
#203. S.C.A.R.S.
October 9, 1998
Vivid Image
Ubi Soft
I can already hear the boardroom pitch for this game: “It’s like Mario Kart… on crack.” S.C.A.R.S. stands for “Super Computer Animal Racing Simulator.” You ride around in animal themed vehicles while grabbing items and shooting at each other. Controls feel somewhere between a kart racer and a traditional racing game. The tracks are simulated in virtual reality, because 3D graphics were new and exciting at the time. There’s nothing to write home about here, though. Courses are long, drawn out, and miserable to look at. By the time you finish the 4th lap (or sometimes even the 5th, god help you) you’ll never want to race on them again. Computer players know all the shortcuts, which are not clearly indicated. Sometimes you’ll have to follow them around in a practice race just to learn the ropes. Still though, while S.C.A.R.S. may not be perfect, it does enough to stand on its own with its more mature identity, instead of being just another Mario Kart clone, which only babies play by the way. — K. Podas
#202. Ken Griffey Jr.’s Slugfest
May 10, 1999
Angel Studios
Nintendo
$49.99 on Amazon
“Hey this is Ken Griffey Jr. Welcome to my world.” The opening voiceover here tells you that this N64 baseball game will at least have a personality to go along with its redundant announcers and blocky players. And while it’s true that fun bells and whistles like inspired camera cuts during the action and the ability to explore the recreated MLB stadiums in full 3D show an attention to detail that is admirable, these things sadly can’t overshadow the awkward player models and middling graphics and controls. Slugfest sort of straddles a line between arcade style and sim. Oh, and it’s awfully quiet, too. Despite a home arena being filled with people, I heard a damn siren go by outside of Tigers Stadium. Okay, so maybe it’s a sim after all. Heyoooo — M. Roebuck
#201. Dual Heroes
November 5, 1998
Produce!
Electro Brain
$224.97 on Amazon
This was supposed to be one of the worst fighting games of all time and whoever gave it that label is wrong from the get go because every character in it looks hella cool. The whole thing has a super sentai aesthetic and I adore that, so I was already all in. It isn’t much of a fighting game as we in the modern day come to expect, as I don’t even think there are combos at all, but there is a primordial juggling mechanic and everyone’s grab is a flashy wrestling move, which is also my jam. Like, there’s nothing truly terrible about this game that would suggest it’s a WOAT. Unfortunately, it is still kind of a “play it once and you get it,” kind of game since there isn’t much to it besides the charming presentation. But I would absolutely have taken the 10 characters in it and been obsessed with drawing them for months if I played this when it originally came out. Also, the final boss looks like Mewtwo if it became a Power Ranger, so that’s absolutely not terrible. — W. Quant
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