When entering Main Street Pizza and Sandwiches, three things are impossible to ignore. First is the overwhelming smell of hot, rancid grease. Second is the layer of dirt and grime that covers every visible surface in the establishment. Third is that they got Cruis’n USA, baby!
Main Street has survived all these years not on the strength of its menu, but by its world class entertainment: a single cabinet of the greatest driving simulator ever created near the bathrooms (which seem rarely cleaned and should be avoided, if possible).
This isn’t like the version of Cruis’n USA you have at home. This is real driving, like your dad does in his truck. There’s a wheel and pedals and that stick thing and everything. The only thing missing is the wind in your hair, not that you’ll be thinking about that while you’re playing. Win a race, and you’ll get to see something that’ll blow you away better than any breeze — a hot babe in a bikini. This is the kind of game mom would never let you play at home.
Even if you don’t manage to win, there’s plenty of fun to be had. You know how if you hit a cow in Mario Kart, you just get knocked over? Well, try hitting a cow in Cruis’n USA. Sure, it’ll still slow you down, but you’ll blow that critter into chunks of meat that come flying at the screen, looking not dissimilar to Main Street’s “sausage” topping. It’s always a crowd-pleaser, so the rest of your team will think you’re a legend for doing it, even if you finish last in the race. Even my dad got into the spirit. One level had a tunnel lined with dollar bills that had a lady smoking a cigar on them, and he couldn’t stop laughing. He never likes video games, so that should tell you how special this one is.
If you can stomach the nearly indigestible cheese and underbaked crust, Main Street Pizza and Sandwiches is a must visit. Few other restaurants are worth mentioning in the same breath. Their only true rival — locally, at least — is the Hawaiian-themed place at the mall that has the sit-down Jurassic Park arcade game.
Main Street Pizza and Sandwiches: ★★★★☆
