TSUSHIMA, Japan — Former samurai and self-appointed Ghost of Tsushima Jin Sakai is pleading with the samurais left on the island to find common ground with the invading Mongol army in order for the two sides to work together.
“This island has been through enough division, now is not the time for us to be attacking one another. It’s time that we reach across the aisle and find common ground with the Mongols. We can accomplish so much more by working together. Further dividing the island will only cause more violence,” said Sakai. “We’ve lost a lot of good people on both sides and the best way to honor their memory is by uniting. After all, at the end of the day we all want what’s best for Tsushima.”
Sakai’s words were met with a mixed response by the prominent figures of the island.
“We absolutely do not need to find common ground with the Mongols. For Jin to say such a thing is a betrayal of the most vulnerable people on the island,” said Sakai’s top ally, Yuna. “These Mongols want us exterminated. There is no common ground with them. It’s a real sucker punch when someone you thought was an ally turns out to be a capitulating coward but unfortunately it seems to be the norm.”
When asked about working together with the Samurai to heal the division on the island, Mongol leader Khotun Khan was dismissive.
“I couldn’t care less about fixing the division on the island. This is our island and we’re going to eradicate the radical Samurai. We’re gonna make Tsushima great. Any of these samurai who we see engaging in or celebrating political violence will be rounded up and be given the utmost punishment, believe me. You are either with us or against us.”
At press time, Sakai has fired Yuna for jokes she made about the death of General Temuge.
