NEW YORK — Local Tinder user Evangeline Beck was excited to have pulled a reportedly “Ultra Rare” Yu-Gi-Oh! fan on the dating app today, according to close sources.
“Oh man, it was so cool! I spend a lot of time swiping on Tinder and mostly just come across Commons: guys who like Pokémon,” explained Beck. “So it was really great to see a Yu-Gi-Oh! fan pop up, because that’s actually worth a lot more. Magic: The Gathering fans are Super Rare, of course, but the Yu-Gi-Oh! fans have that gold foil lettering on them that makes them a little bit special. I’d love to find a Secret Rare Flesh & Blood date on Tinder one day, but for now, I’m willing to potentially settle down with a simple Yu-Gi-Oh! lover if that’s what’s available for me. I understand my place; I’m no Pot of Greed.”
Beck’s Ultra Rare find on Tinder, a 36-year-old software engineer named Brian Hahn, was unsurprised to hear about the excitement.
“Of course women are excited to match with me on dating apps. I’ve got the heart of the cards,” Hahn said, rubbing a crumb off his Yami Yugi graphic tee shirt. “Women understand the power of a man who has memorized every aspect of the Yu-Gi-Oh! lore and knows all the different infinites in the Yu-Gi-Oh! card game. I’m not some lesser Hearthstone or Marvel Snap or Pokémon peon. I, myself, am a sort of Millennium Puzzle, and I grant massive power to whoever dares to wield me.”
At press time, Hahn reportedly called Beck a “bitch” after she said that, despite being excited about the find, that he “didn’t fit in [her] deck at this time.”
