#34 — Beam
Put on a jester’s hat and use a magic wand to fire concentrated energy blasts at your captors, hoping that it’s effective against human beings and not just Waddle Dees and cute little apple monsters or whatever.
#33 — Jet
This is basically like having a jetpack. You can fly your way out of this mess but only if your timing is incredibly precise. Jet can be a bit of a hassle to control, and any sudden hesitations will absolutely get you killed.
#32 — Bomb
Throw a bunch of bombs around the room while wearing a big blue cap. Keep in mind, though, that they’ll likely have their own explosives in place as a failsafe, and this will definitely set those off and trigger an explosion big enough to level an entire city block.
#31 — Ice
Use ice breath to turn your captors into frozen sculptures and skate away to freedom. Keep in mind, however, that this will not work if you are being held captive in a hot climate or arid region.
#30 — Parasol
Just like in the games, the Parasol ability is more helpful than you’d think. Give your captors a good whack over the head while protecting yourself from any falling debris above you. As a bonus, it could also be helpful cover if they try to implement water drop torture.
#29 — Burning
You can catch on fire and burn off any ropes or zip ties holding you down. If anyone tries to touch you, they’ll scald their hands. As long as you’re an expert at dodging gunfire, it should be okay.
#28 — Sleep
An otherwise useless ability, but you could use it to play possum and trick your captors into thinking you’re dead with this one.
#27 — Beetle
Turn into a large horned beetle and skewer your detainers. Your skin might even be tough enough to deflect bullets, but you won’t really know until you’re in this extremely specific scenario.
#26 — Fighter
You can fire off a hadouken and other expert fighting moves with this ability, but it’s a little hard to remember move combos when your life is in immediate danger.
#25 — Fire
Become the Human Torch and run out of there, body ablaze. Turn into a large fireball and shoot your way to safety, hoping that no one has a large bucket of water on hand.
#24 — Spear
Getting your hands on any weapon is a plus in a hostage situation, obviously. And with the Spear ability, you can spin it around really fast and fly away like a helicopter. Though of course you run the risk of drawing a lot of attention to yourself when you do so.
#23 — Wrestler
Can you smell what the Kirb is cookin?? Piledrive your way out of there luchador style and hope to god that people aren’t correct when they mouth off and say that wrestling is totally fake.
#22 — Doctor
With the Doctor ability, you can treat any wounds you might have sustained while being held captive, and also go full-on Walter White and conduct an impromptu explosive to get yourself out of this mess.
#21 — Ghost
Possess one of your jailers and use their husk of a body like a marionette puppet to murder everyone else on the way out.
#20 — Sword
If you’re not able to wrestle the machete out of your captors’ hands that is pressed firmly up against your neck, you can definitely try and take them out using a devastating spin attack with the Sword ability.
#19 — Hammer
Play Whack-A-Mole and bop your captors on the head one by one, crushing them to death instantaneously with a large, wooden mallet.
#18 — Mirror
Give your enemies double vision by duplicating yourself to cause confusion, and shoot tiny mirror shards at them in the process. They might even be sharp enough to cut someone, hopefully.
