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Every Kirby Copy Ability Ranked by How Useful They Would Be in a Hostage Situation

#51 — Copy

Turn into a 1:1 copy of one of your captors to completely confuse the enemy. This is only going to buy you so much time, though, so it’s best to observe their habits, think of a plan, and then act.

#50 — Leaf

In this instance, you can hide, but you can’t run. Take cover in a pile of leaves and hope your jailers don’t think “why is there a pile of leaves here all of a sudden?”

#49 — Mini

Real 50-50 shot here, if we’re being honest. You can turn small and have a brief window of opportunity to sneak away. But if you get caught, or someone accidentally steps on you with their combat boot, it’s pretty much over.

#48 — Needle

You can turn into a ball of needles to skewer your captors. Sounds good on paper, but their flesh and various severed appendages will now be stuck all over you. That’s going to be a nightmare to have to shower off later.

#47 — Spark

Just like in the games, the spark ability is really only useful if you’re able to store up enough friction and momentum to shock your captors to death.

#46 — Artist

You can try and paint yourself a handgun and will it to reality if you’re really lucky.

#45 — Backdrop

If you’re trying to escape and fight your way through a bunch of henchmen in a crowded corridor, this could come in handy. Pull them in and pile drive them behind you, shattering their necks and spines in the process. It’s really only the one move, though, so they’ll probably catch on to it pretty quick.

#44 — Plasma

Similar to the Spark ability, you can only shoot a massive blast of energy if you’re able to store up enough momentum first. Given the fact that you’re probably tied up and/or handcuffed to an uncomfortable chair in this situation, it won’t do you a lot of good.

#43 — Water

You could try and… drown them? This really depends on the type of holding cell you’re being held captive in, and how good you are at swimming. Otherwise, you’re just satiating a terrorist who is probably dehydrated from having to wear an identity-concealing bag over their head for a number of hours.

#42 — Magic

Pull something random out of your hat and hope to god it’s a firearm.

#41 — Spider

You better hope these guys have arachnophobia or something. Otherwise, you’re just shooting a bunch of sticky webs all over the place, which will only make escaping later on even more difficult.

#40 — Archer

If you’ve got a stable hand and great aim, this could come in very handy. Seriously though, if you miss even one shot, they’re pistol whipping you into submission immediately. That’s not going to fly here.

#39 — Missile

You’ll honestly have a very good chance at escaping if you equip the Missile ability. But the second you stop moving and turn back to normal, you will explode instantly. Hopefully you’ll be able to see the sunset or something beautiful one last time before you do.

#38 — Jelly

“What the fuck? Did that guy just turn into jelly? Kill him, or eat him, whatever.”

#37 — Sand

You can throw handfuls of sand to blind your enemies briefly, which will give you a precise moment to strike. And if worse comes to worst, you can even build a large sandcastle to hide their bodies inside of.

#36 — Metal

With Metal, you’re basically invincible and will conduct all weapons and firearms in the vicinity to your body. The problem is, you are incredibly slow moving and easily stoppable. Only use it if you have an immense amount of patience.

#35 — Tornado

A little too chaotic for its own good. You’ll just have to get lucky in hopes that you’ll fly out of this place instead of bouncing off the walls until you inevitably lose momentum, leaving you an easy target. 

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