#15 — Editing Wild Cards books
I don’t know what to tell you. The guy loves editing Wild Cards books. I don’t personally know anyone who has read them, but it’s one of his absolute favorite things to do.
#14 — Food blogging
Few people know this, but George has a secret blog where he painstakingly writes out every single meal he has ever had. I’m not going to reveal it — I’m one of just 15 readers — but if you ever see a description of Lamprey Pie online, it’s almost certainly him.
#13 — Golfing
Now that George is very wealthy off the success of his massively famous television shows, he is legally required to learn how to play golf and play alongside other powerful figures in Hollywood.
#12 — Sending anonymous death threats to Stephen King
Look, I totally understand why George R.R. Martin would hate Stephen King. The guy cranks out books so fast you’d think there’s a clown holding a gun to his head. But his books are more simple! Half of them are like “what if a dog was evil?” George, you REALLY gotta stop sending Mr. King these death threats on alt accounts.
#11 — Watching anime
Sorry if this upsets you, but every single successful writer is a huge fan of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
#10 — Eating and occasionally sleeping
It’s really messed up to think about, considering that George REALLY should be working on finishing up the highly anticipated sixth book in his masterpiece series, but occasionally the author takes breaks to eat meals and go to sleep.
#9 — Working on a podcast
Set to come out in 2024, George is reportedly hard at work on a new podcast for I Heart Radio called “Blame of Thrones” where he and a guest run through each episode of Game of Thrones and try to determine whose fault it is that the series took such a wrong turn.
#8 — Trying to remember all the characters
It has been a while since George worked on the book series and a lot of those characters are not in the show at all. So he has been spending months trying to rack his brain to come up with who the hell Penny is.
#7 — Pitching new Game of Thrones spin-offs
The lore of A Song of Ice and Fire is so deep that almost any character in its history could spawn a fascinating spin-off. Well guess what? George is currently developing all of those pilots. Get ready to hear about Fierce Bears: The History of the Mormonts and House of the Squid: Drowning Bar-Mitzvah.
#6 — Fighting crime
Although it’s impossible to say for sure, many New Mexico residents swear they’ve seen a masked vigilante known only as The Vest who has taken the state’s growing crime problem into his own hands. Is this supposed hero George R.R. Martin? Has he stopped working on The Winds of Winter to fight crime?
#5 — Jacking off
Look, sorry if this is disgusting, but every single writer since the beginning of time has rewarded themselves after writing a few sentences with jacking off. Again, grow up. That’s how the world works.
#4 — Playing The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
George is no different from any of us. He’s currently sticking a bunch of logs together with UltraHand to cheese his way through some stupid goddamn shrine that’s been pissing him off for the last hour and a half.
#3 — Trying to remember if he was the manager of The Beatles
George recently watched a documentary about The Beatles that said their manager was named George Martin. Could that have been him? He’s done so many things in his career worth remembering but he cannot for the life of him figure out if he was the manager of The Beatles.
#2 — Watching time slip away through his fingers
I started reading this series when I was in high school and now I’m married and bald and Jon Snow is still “dead” at The Wall. We’ve lived through mass insurrections, global pandemics, all of Succession, and more. Who knows what world events will come to pass in the time it takes for the story of Westeros to come to an end?
#1 — Who cares
Truly, this is none of our business at all. We would all love to read the book when he feels its ready, but there’s no point in insisting he write it as fast as he can because that’s just going to lead to a worse book. And at the end of the day, it’s up to him how he spends his life.
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