Uhhhmmmm when will George R.R. Martin write the next book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series?! We don’t know! That being said, we can give you SOME answers. Here’s every single thing the guy’s doing other than writing that next book.
#30 — Who cares?
Why does it matter to you? Leave the man alone. He owes you absolutely nothing. What are you his goddamn boss? Grow up.
#29 — Reading articles speculating on what he’s up to
Hi George! Hope you’re doing OK and that you like this article about you. Now I dunno if your old school computer has every key, but tab over into that Winds doc and start figuring out what Tyrion is up to in that chapter you’re stuck on.
#28 — Buying more of those hats
George’s life force comes from those hats he wears. He’s like that old story about the lady with the red ribbon around her neck who dies when she takes it off, except his ribbon is the hats. So if you want the book to come out soon, DO NOT take that off his head.
#27 — Switching places with Guillermo Del Toro
George and Guillermo Del Toro love doing sitcom-style mix-ups where they trade places for a few days and see if anyone in their families notice.
#26 — Spooning with a Daenerys Targaryen body pillow
Sure, it’s a little weird, but it’s technically his OC so it’s…. Actually that might make it more weird.
#25 — House of the Dragon motion capture
George gets in one of those black morph suits with the little white balls on them to capture the footage used to make every single CGI dragon in the popular HBO show House of the Dragon.
#24 — Living his life
Outside of being a famous writer, television producer, and blogger, rumors have been circulating that Martin may actually have a family.
#23 — Doing promo for HBO
George openly supports both the SAG and WGA strikes, but since he is the most famous non-SAG person working on House of the Dragon, George has agreed to take over all promotional responsibilities from the actors, including several sexy magazine photoshoots.
#22 — Acting out all the characters
George famously doesn’t plan out his books fully while writing them. Instead, he puts on wigs and acts out the scenes in his office, playing each of the characters and doing little voices for them.
#21 — Adding more Dunk and Egg books to his queue
Every few months, George gets another idea for a book in the Dunk and Egg series that he promises he will one day get to in the next 50 years.
#20 — Dying
This isn’t an indictment of George in any way. Every second that time clicks forward, we are all marching one step towards death.
#19 — Reading tweets from people asking him to write the next book
If more people tweet “when is Winds of the Winter comeing out now” at George, he will write the books faster.
#18 — Posting “fan theories” on r/asoiaf
George famously hangs out in the various A Song of Ice and Fire related subreddits claiming he has a “fan theory” about the upcoming books that will suspiciously be proven true once he eventually publishes the damn things.
#17 — Practicing stand-up comedy
The famed author says that as soon as he finishes The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring, he’s going to try his hand at stand-up comedy. He’s been practicing a bit in the mirror for the last few months, but after those books are out, he’s heading straight to the nearest open mic!
#16 — Working on Elden Ring 2
George R.R. Martin loved working on Elden Ring and is hard at work coming up with more names that start with G, R, and M. Hey wait a second…
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