GOTHAM — Rising artist and Iceberg Lounge bouncer Jeff Williams saw his career fall apart last night after an altercation with Batman.
“It’s standard policy. I’m not supposed to let anyone in unless they provide an ID and proper dress code. He obviously had neither. When I told him he couldn’t just walk in here he squeezed my hand into pieces,” Williams stated. “I’ve rarely ever met Mr. Cobblepot let alone know what he’s doing. Gotham ain’t exactly affordable for rent not to mention all my student loans from art school. There’s not exactly a lot of work out there that can help pay for those. I was really hoping to do this for a short time until my paintings sold more.”
Williams’ art dealer Wendy Marigold said she was very saddened by the news.
“He was one of the best in Gotham when it came to hyperrealistic portraits of people,” Ms. Marigold bemoaned. “He once created this beautiful painting of various actors dressed like the Joker sitting around a table playing poker together. Dark to paint people like Jack Nicoholson, Jared Leto, and Heath Ledger to look like the most notorious serial killer in the city, but I think it really said a lot about society and our idolization of criminals. Of course, it got destroyed right after it was auctioned off at a charity gala because some new criminal was trying to make a name for themself. Batman swooped in with his grappling hook and bashed the thug over the head with the painting. Still, the guy had a future in art.”
Williams’ orthopedic surgeon Dr. Phil Langes noted that there isn’t a lot of hope for the artist’s future.
“The X-rays showed irreversible damage to his metacarpus, scaphoid, and every phalanx,” Dr. Langes explained. “It will take years of physical therapy for him to properly hold a paintbrush again. He could try teaching himself to paint with his other hand, but I doubt he’ll ever reach the level of skill he was at before. He’d be better off incorporating this into his tragic backstory and trying to make it as a supervillain.”
Jeff Williams is currently applying for disability while things work out. His claim is delayed, as his employer Oswaldt Cobblepot is currently missing.
