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Confirmed: The Spice in “Dune” Is Pumpkin

ARRAKEEN — The planet Dune’s melange spice supply, an inherent component to the operation of interstellar travel, prescient vision, and the power of Great Houses, is now confirmed to be pumpkin spice.

“It always had a cinnamon taste to it, sure — three seasons out of the year,” said Duncan Idaho, a member of House Atreides, “but autumn on Arrakis is here when the pumpkin notes start to come out. It’s the signal to spend the weekends dew collecting, going on haunted ‘thopter rides, and enjoying Kanly-korn. Fall vibes are an essential for the planet Dune — truly, the pumpkin spice must flow.”

With the arrival of the annual fall festival in the capital, craftmakers have begun to flock to marketplaces selling kitschy cushion covers with the “Litany Against Fear” hand-embroidered on them, literjons full of offworld pumpkin seed butter, and plenty of pumpkin-spice coffee. Sources have even sighted city-dwellers bobbing for offworld apples floating in sand instead of water for conservation purposes.

Outside the Shield Wall, local Fremen of Sietch Ba’sic were also seen getting seasonal. Many wore robes adorned in desert tartan and flannel. Young Fremen children were seen utilizing crysknifes to carve jack o’lanterns into offworld pumpkins and trading scary stories.

“Shai-hulud has always blessed us with ‘season of the spook’,” explained one Fremen leader, Gourd, “We will tell the young ones around glowglobes scary stories as the nights get cooler. Nothing like the smell of pumpkin-spice and the look of their terrified faces. They’d almost wet their stillsuit if it didn’t mean they’d have to drink it later!”

Although there are fond memories of the fall season and the traditions it brings, some traditions have grown into lore and even led to dark superstitions among the Fremen.

“The scariest is the one Usul told us about a being named Fred’die, a warrior sent to punish the Fremen in their dreams,” said Gourd, “Though that one can be too scary at times. Like a skinless kangaroo-mouse in a striped sweater with a claw for a hand…Is this truly the awful future that the Muad’dib has envisioned for us?”