James Gavigan
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NAMEK — Local psychopath and emperor of Universe 7, Frieza, reportedly failed to turn into his final form at a…
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John Danek
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SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Capitalizing on the true crime entertainment craze, Clifford Waters has turned his grief over his wife’s…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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LOS ANGELES — Video game idea-developer Steve Harmon appeared on the newest episode of Shark Tank, not to ask for…
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Taylor Roebuck
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DETROIT — Local pothead Sarah Murphy’s distress after encountering a spoiler of a movie she planned on seeing was immediately…
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Patrick Crooks
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SOMEWHERE BETWEEN EARTH AND LV-462 — The Weyland-Yutani Corporation has found themselves under intense scrutiny after a xenomorph alien slaughtered…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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JUMANJI — Board game enthusiast Jesse Harrington just wants to know if it says somewhere in the rules if he’s…
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MALAYSIA — Production of the upcoming Uncharted movie adaptation has halted after the project lost yet another director, who plummeted…
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Collin Preciado
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NEW YORK — Several taxi cab customers were reminded by comedian and game show host Ben Bailey that they were…
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Giovanni Colantonio
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Staff at a local bodega have become increasingly frustrated with Star Wars director J.J. Abrams, who won’t…
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Rich Marin
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NEW YORK — Infamous film producer and convicted sex offender Harvey Weinstein, 67, was declared dead to the world and…
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