Taylor De La Ossa, Author at Hard Drive

Uh Oh: Netflix Exec Seen Enjoying Book Series That You Love

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Ian Guyette

Hollywood – Worrying reports out of Los Angeles today indicate a Netflix exec was spotted paging through your favorite book series, seemingly enjoying himself.

“It’s not something I wanted me or my family to see, frankly,” said Mary Evans, a concerned mother of three who also enjoys the book series. “This executive, he was just sitting there reading and nodding, even dog-earing pages and writing in the margins. I shudder to think what notes he might’ve been making.”

“Or even worse, maybe casting ideas.”

Eyewitnesses say the executive took his time paging through each of the series’ four entries, even stopping for one moment to pull out a highlighter to carefully mark a couple of lines.

Tara Smith, a local bookshop owner, offered insight into the likely outcome of this depressing sight.

“I’ll put it bluntly; there’s zero chance this guy was just reading for fun, and to make matters worse the characters in this series are just not meant for the big screen. The protagonist being a ghost is one thing, but I know they’ll absolutely ransack her personality as soon as they find out she used to play guitar. Please don’t make the ghost play a guitar.”

Concern turned to fear as the exec was seen smiling while reading one of the book’s few low points.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this guy laughing at the beginning of the second book – nobody thinks that part is actually funny. The author isn’t known for humor and the fans are willing to accept that; why is he laughing so much?” questioned Alex Peterson, a worried fan of the series. “The nuance of these books would be totally lost in the hands of a bunch of suits. You saw what they did with every single thing released this year.”

Bookstores reportedly began dumping stock of the series as the disheartening news spread across town, with little free libraries everywhere bracing to deal with the fallout.

Opinion: $70 Video Game Sets Dangerous Precedent for $80 Video Game

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Nik Theorin

PHILADELPHIA — Like the price of the Costco hotdog or the melting point of steel, the $60 video game has been a point of stability in the life of gamers, but all that could change, sources suggest, with the introduction of the $70 and, God forbid, $80 video game.

“It’s a slippery slope,” said trends forecaster Aimee Rorke. “Rising sea levels. Dehumanizing rhetoric. Anti-abortion rulings passed on high by unelected judges. I’m not talking about any of that. I’m talking about the price of video games.”

“It’s frankly rare to see a change this sudden when looking at trends, especially where it concerns essential goods like overpriced entertainment. We’re talking about a product that has stood steady at $60 since the industry’s and my own infancy. When you think of $60, what comes to mind? More often than not, it’s a AAA video game. But what about when you think of $70? Unfortunately, the answer can also be AAA video game – and that’s a disturbing truth to acknowledge.”

When questioned about the unexplained price hike, the response from gamers was one of indignation and confusion.

“This can’t be sustainable,” worried Daniel O’Poole, a local gamer. “I mean, $60 was already a big ask, right? And a disc is just a disc. God forbid you don’t own the $500 space heater that actually plays the game and drafts you as fresh blood for the Console Wars. If you asked me five years ago, a $70 video game would’ve been unthinkable. It sets a dangerous precedent, because like what’s next, you know? An $80 video game? A $90 video game? Remasters of 1 year-old games at full price? Where do they draw the line?”

“And also, what makes publishers think gamers will just shrug their shoulders and dish out $70 on a video game? The fact that we absolutely will? The fact that I’m currently frothing at the mouth for the sweet nectar of escapism that only gaming and its power fantasies can provide? Come on, man. What happened to the old unreasonable price?”

When asked for comment, one publisher stepped up to clarify the rising prices.

“Trust us, a lot goes into making a game,” spoke a representative for Blizzard Entertainment. “The simple fact is, the cost of production has gone up, all across the board. People put hundreds, often thousands of man-hours into the games and stories consumers love. Our game devs are heroes. What publishers want is to pay our teams fairly, to work them ethically, and if it costs 10 extra dollars on the backend? That sounds like a fair trade to us— and for gamers too. Yeah, is that what you want to hear, little piggy? Oink oink, now be a good boy and buy your $70 game..”

At the time of writing, sources indicate video games are $90 and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Advice: How Accurately Can I Sing This Anime Theme Song Before It Feels Racist?

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Aisha Josiah

LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Tyler Jenkins has recently found himself in a cultural conundrum: wondering how accurately he can sing his favorite anime theme songs without crossing the line into unintentional racism, sources close to the karaoke machine reported.

“It’s like, how precise can my Japanese accent be before it’s problematic?” said the self-proclaimed ‘otaku’. “Is it wrong to be flawless?”

Friends of Jenkins report a noticeable tension during karaoke nights. “Tyler’s rendition of ‘Cruel Angel’s Thesis’ from ‘Neon Genesis Evangelion’ was a bit too spot-on,” said his friend, Maya Hernandez. “We couldn’t decide if we were impressed or if we should ask people to stop filming.”

Karaoke DJ, Mark Lee, has seen his share of questionable performances. “You get these anime superfans trying so hard to nail the original Japanese lyrics, and it’s like, dude, just sing the English cover. This isn’t the Tokyo Dome; it’s Dave’s Tavern.”

Sociolinguist Dr. Emily Chang warns of the fine line between cultural homage and mean-spirited parody: “Appreciation can quickly slip into something much darker; It’s complex, and the karaoke bar might not be the best place to explore these nuances unless you’ve got just a killer voice.”

Anime enthusiast and weary East Asian friend-of-a-friend groups have started offering ‘Sensitivity Singing Workshops’ aimed at navigating the tricky waters between fandom and faux pas.

The classes seem to be working: At press time, Jenkins was seen sheepishly transitioning from a full-throated rendition of the ‘Naruto’ opening to a safer, less linguistically challenging Disney song.

Observers noted a collective sigh of relief from the crowd, and at least one clearly audible “Oh, thank god.”

REVIEW: MW3’s Online Multiplayer Team Chat Harassment Is Innovative as Ever

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Jack H.

CHICAGO – I have been a fan of the Call of Duty series since Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The series was a huge part of my formative years and I have continued to be a fan throughout not only the first Modern Warfare 3, but also the second Modern Warfare 3. Like many Call of Duty fans, I was incredibly disappointed with Modern Warfare 3’s Campaign Mode. Each level was a bland and repetitive mess whose only redeeming factor being it is mercifully short.

Luckily, Modern Warfare 3 saved its innovation for the multiplayer mode, specifically the harassment from the voice chat feature. The game takes the classic voice chat feature, utter emotional devastation from faceless strangers, and adds some refreshing new twists, slurs, and high-pitched shrieking insults.

There are also some new features.

Past games featured opposing players and teammates alike telling me they “had sex with my mother,” a simple classic formula which we covered in our article “Have Some Empathy: Toxic CoD Tween Going Through Rough Patch With Your Mom.”

But in Modern Warfare 3, a player told me that he took my mom “to an all you can eat fuck-and-suck buffett.” The harassment was not limited to my mother either. Another player wove a tale of a long and romantic courtship of my father, including romantic picnics, horseback riding on the beach and a touching proposal in Paris. Each comment made me feel small and insignificant in new and exciting ways.

Another game, I committed the cardinal sin of finishing a round of Search and Destroy without any kills. Seeing that my teammates were a pack of ravenous teenagers, I expected the classic suggestion that I kill myself that got me into Call of Duty in the first place. Instead they subverted my expectations and went with reverse psychology. Uring to me, unprompted, that life was worth living and that I should not do anything drastic. They even began playing Logic’s don’t kill yourself song “1-800-273-8255” over their gaming headsets, claiming they were saving my life. This not only gaslit me into thinking I was suicidal, but it also turned me into a person who inserts the phrase gaslighting into every potentially applicable situation that arises.

One drawback from the older Call of Duty games is the fact that once you turned off your console, the harassment ended. Modern Warfare 3 fixes this immersion issue. After several games of verbal bombardment with a squad of players with different pornstars as their gamertags, which is objectively hilarious, I got called “a fat virgin who is going to die alone.” I turned off my console and I thought this would be the end of my harassment experience, but it turns out those players looked me up found my address. A few days later I began receiving dozens of Amazon packages all containing blow up sex dolls labeled “Mail Order Bride.” This game delivers a 24-7 mental torture that would make Dick Cheney do the closest thing to smiling that he can achieve.

Overall, Modern Warfare 3’s Multiplayer game chat delivers a horrifying experience and provides a new standard of psychological destruction. I rate it 4.5 DSM’s out of 5.

Scream Franchise Drops Actress Who Opposes Shocking, Brutal Killings

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Hard Drive Staff

LOS ANGELES — Actress Melissa Barrera was fired from the upcoming film “Scream VII” after remarks she made condemning brutal, senseless, and often shocking killings in Gaza.

“It’s unfortunate that Ms. Barrera feels this way,” said Gary Barber, CEO of Spyglass Media Group. “It just totally goes against our vision for the movie. I mean, a lead actress in a slasher who doesn’t like horrible, pointless violence? That would be like Lin Manuel Miranda coming out against quirky little raps, or Adam Sandler denounced fart jokes. No one would hire them anymore! Melissa’s perspective is completely inconsistent with the work we’re trying to produce, so we had to let her go.”

Barrera released a statement saying she was shocked by the news while also defending her original post.

“Their logic doesn’t make sense,” wrote Barrera in an Instagram story. “Let me be clear: while I condemn genocide in Gaza, I fully support all of the violence in the Scream franchise and all other violence in mass media. In fact, I advocate for it and think it’s very cool.”

“Ghostface’s brutal kills are indiscriminate and not targeted based on ethnicity, location, or religion. Different thing.”

Many horror fans were confused by the decision.

“I honestly didn’t know you could get fired from a slasher movie,” said Ralph Preston, who hosts a horror movie podcast with two of his friends. “They pretty much take anybody. You don’t even have to be able to act. Emma Roberts is a horrible person, and she still gets cast. Marilyn Manson and Glenn Danzig have both been in horror films. I just don’t see how what Melissa said is beyond the pale.”

At press time, a leaked script revealed that the plot of Scream VII involved the protagonists hiding inside a hospital, forcing Ghostface to kill everyone within.

Gamer’s $60 Steam Purchase “Basically Free” Thanks to $1.07 Earned From Selling Steam Trading Cards

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Zig Zag

After nearly two years of collecting and selling the cards earned from various games, frugal gamer Adler Gordon felt that it was finally time to put his earnings to good use, sources close to the gamer confirmed.

“It felt great being rewarded after studying the Steam market and carefully selling my hard earned cards at the right time. Since my profits go directly back into my Steam wallet, I used my earnings on a new game purchase, making the remainder of the price feel negligible,” Gordon explained.

According to reports, select Steam games drop digital trading cards rewarded on a player’s time spent in game which can then be traded on the Steam Marketplace. Using his hard earned $1.07, Gordon was reportedly able to reduce the price tag of his new purchase down to $62.53 from $63.30 after taxes – basically free.

Experts in the field call this money hack “Gamer Math.”

When asked for more money saving “Gamer Math” tips, Gordon replied with the following that he would like to share with the gaming community:

“If you pre order a game and pay in full at the time; then, it’s basically free by the time it comes out. Additionally when games are on sale for anything less than 10 dollars you’re practically losing money by not getting it.”

Gordon tells us that he hasn’t had a chance to play his newly acquired game yet but hopes to get to it after working through his backlog.

Mobile Game Ads Clearly Building Cinematic Universe

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Greg Smith

A series of advertisements for otherwise unconnected mobile video games seem to be teasing an interlocked cinematic universe, observant sources report.

In one ad for popular puzzle game Royal Match, an unnamed character played by actor Red Martin says, “The graphics are beautiful, you don’t need wifi, and best of all? It’s the perfect game to play while crushing a bit of candy,” an alleged reference to blockbuster mobile game Candy Crush. Martin then raises his eyebrows and smirks while an orchestral swell coincides with a cut to black.

Clash Royale, a real-time strategy mobile game, recently ended an ad with a character appearance from Total War: Pharaoh, the most recent title in a separate real-time strategy mobile franchise.

As the Prince, a computer-animated Clash Royale character, finishes a direct call to action, footstep sound effects are heard. The Prince turns around and sees Tausret, a diplomacy-focused TW:P character. “Good evening, Prince,” says Tausret. “I’m here to talk to you about the Unlimited Data Initiative.” The ad concludes with an orchestral swell and cut to black.

Pop culture critic Dana Lawrence calls this kind of cross-title universe-building “unprecedented” in the world of mobile gaming.

“We tend to view games on our phones as personal ways to pass the time,” said Lawrence. “For these different studios to band together and offer connection could revolutionize the industry. Or, it could alienate casual players who don’t want to keep up with continuity.

“No matter how phone users feel,” added Lawrence, “they’ll have to get used to it, because these ads are going to show up on every single app 20 times a day no matter what.”

At press time, no mobile gaming insiders could explain whether the ‘X’ icon is a part of the ad designed to trick you or an actual button that will stop the ad successfully.

Exhausted Ark Player Logs off After Long Session of Pressing ‘Join Server’ Button

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Alex Kitsinger

DENTON, Texas – Local gamer Phil Sharpe has emerged from his basement for the first time in days, starving and exhausted from continuously pressing the ‘join server’ button in Ark: Survival Ascended. According to his Steam friends, Sharpe has racked up 98 hours in the game and never created a character.

“During every waking hour, I can’t wait to boot up the game. It’s just so exhilarating, you know? The rush of adrenaline I get when that loading icon pops up is unparalleled,” said Sharpe, when asked why he continues to play the game. “You never know what’s going to happen next. Sometimes you immediately see the server is full, but occasionally it will fade to black to make you think you’re in before spitting you back to the menu with an error message. That part is my favorite.”

According to Sharpe’s wife, Melissa Pierce, this habit has been negatively affecting their relationship.

“He’s there for hours, sometimes even days at a time, and by the time he’s done he’s so exhausted he doesn’t even want to eat dinner with me or play with the kids,” said Pierce, exasperated. “He broke his mouse four times in the last two weeks from clicking so hard, and he’s missed work three times. I’m worried he’s going to be out of a job, and my income alone can’t support buying all those mice.”

Sharpe’s doctor also expressed concern.

“Staring at a screen for that long without blinking is definitely unhealthy, and frankly a little disturbing. Combine that with how little sleep he’s getting and it’s a recipe for disaster. He’s also developing a repetitive strain injury, which is surprising because as far as I can tell, he hasn’t even been playing the game.”

Studio Wildcard, developer of the game, was unavailable for comment, as they were preoccupied with putting out a fire in their server room.

Baldur’s Gate Fan Suspicious of Girlfriend’s New Gym Buddy “Dorvric the Undying”

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Trevor Hazell

CASTLE ROCK, Colo. — Local Baldur’s Gate 3 fan, Andrew Seavey, 32, has momentarily turned his attention away from the game over suspicions surrounding his girlfriend’s new gym buddy, Dorvric the Undying.

“Alice had really been harping on me recently to go to the gym with her. But why would I need the gym when I have Karlach to deadlift hordes of Kobold for me!” joked Andrew. “Recently, though, she’s been going on and on about a new buddy she met there, some dude named ‘Dorvric the Undying?’ Apparently, he’s a Necromancer, but it seems kinda strange she’d meet him at the gym. Honestly, a strength-based Wizard sounds like a bad character build to me. Maybe he’s multiclassing.”

According to Andrew, whilst his girlfriend, 29-year-old Alice Reed, isn’t much of a gamer, she did take interest in the many attractive companions that players meet along their adventure in Larian Studios’ new entry in the franchise. He specifically noted her almost immediate obsession with the Elven Vampire, Astarion.

“I mean, Astarion is absolutely her type,” said Andrew, shifting in his seat. “Lanky, pale, brooding gothic types have always been her thing. And look, no, I haven’t met Dorvric yet, but I’m not about to stereotype a Necromancer based solely on everything I know about them from popular media. She’s said he’s just a normal guy who happens to enjoy dabbling in the dark art of manipulating the border between life and death. We all have our interests. I’m not concerned.”

While Andrew has still yet to meet the mysterious Mage in question, the employees of the local Planet Fitness seemed quite familiar with Dorvric, citing his penchant for siphoning the life force of other members to bolster his own “sick gains.” Despite this reputation, Dorvric seems to be a highly respected member of the community.

“He apparently does a lot of charity work with local refugee groups. Helped save a group of Tieflings from an incoming Goblin assault. Seems like a pretty stand-up guy,” Andrew explained. “Alice invited me to this party the Tieflings were throwing, but I got the impression it was for close companions only. I asked her if Dorvric was going to be there, and she kinda just dodged the question, but I trust her. I was concerned she didn’t come home until the next morning, but she assured me she just drank too much Turmishan wine and crashed at their camp – said she needed a Long Rest.”

Update: In a follow-up email, Andrew reported that he and Alice were now taking a break. While he refrained from providing further details, he was reportedly hopeful to use this free time to refocus on advancing his relationship with Shadowheart.

Pic via AlcastHQ.

We Asked Every Hard Drive Writer What Their Favorite Indie Game Is So You Can Ignore Them All At Once

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Hard Drive Staff

Yesterday in the Hard Drive offices Jon Ruggiero turned to the staff and said he’d love to hear our favorite indie games, but only if we could list them off really quick so that he could ignore us all at the same time.

He has a point — you never know if an indie game recommendation is going to be for the best RPG you’ll ever play or a POS FPS that’s hardly playable. Plus everyone that tries to tell you what game they like is boring as hell. How can you possibly listen to all those recommendations and (only to then immediately disregard them) in an easy and efficient manner?

Luckily we at Hard Drive are here to help! Our staff of highly-trained and needlessly-obsessive journalists have listed below the indie games they love with a passion, so that you have one quick and easy resource to ignore them all at once. If you’ve somehow read to this point, thanks for not ignoring this, and enjoy our choices for great indie titles you shouldn’t ignore but probably will.

Yume Nikki

Yume Nikki provides a weird and wonderful dream world for you to explore and nothing else. While some might find this boring or uninteresting. Luckily, I’m pretentious so I think it’s simple, mysterious, and beautiful. Let me put it like this, you don’t fall asleep and then complain why your dreams didn’t have complex gameplay mechanics or systems. Well, maybe you do, but if so please never come near me. – By Gabe Porter

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion

I cannot win against the IRS but I can win against Mayor Onion’s corrupt politics. – By El Gimpador

Quiplash by Jackbox Games

Playing Quiplash together should be required at the beginning of any new friendship or relationship to test whether you share the same sick sense of humor. If the new friend or love interest doesn’t know what Quiplash is, cease all communication immediately. It’s not going to work out. – By Jus Kaplan

The Maze

Just thinking about this game brings back joyous memories of sleepovers and pre-pubescent angst. This classic flash game from 2003 brought the world together at a time when everything felt so bleak (look up the Iraq War). It’s got a clean & simple layout, top notch sound design, and puts your hand steadiness to the ultimate test. If you think you can handle the challenge, you can’t go wrong with The Maze! – By Julien Perez

American Arcadia

American Arcadia is a witty and surprisingly thought-provoking adventure with incredible voice acting and fantastic writing. Seamlessly switching between first-person and 2.5D side-scrolling, the puzzles are fairly accessible but still make you scratch the dome.

Through the story’s twists and turns, impeccable artstyle and solid gameplay, American Arcadia should not be missed for fans of The Truman Show, Playdead’s Inside and witty dystopia. ” – By Tyler A

Parasite (2019)

Parasite has got to be one of my favorite films. Beautiful cinematography and excellent performances bring to life a scathing criticism of modern capitalism. While on the surface it may appear as though the low class family are the parasites the title refers to, as the film progresses it becomes more clear that the rich family are the real parasites.

I also believe the movie is not attempting to villainize those who hold wealth, but rather show how we’ve created a world where simply being smart or talented is not enough to – What? This list is about indie games, and not independent movies? Whoops.” – By Alex Kitsinger

Inscryption

“I like card games.
I like video games.
What is a card game?
Who made the first card game?
What is K█rn█ff█l?
What REALLY is K█rn█ff█l?
What the ████ is a Daus?
How do you crack it?
Why did the Russians care?
Who is Barry Reginald Wilkinson?
Who REALLY is Barry Reginald Wilkinson?
Who is Maxim Kaminski?
Who is █ay██e?
Why did she ███?
Follow the S████.
The █████ is at work.
49.301911 N, 123.14154 W
The O██_D███ is out there.
Good luck ████ C█████.
M
”

– By Max Schuhmacher

The Talos Principle

“I love puzzles and I hate God.” – by Cathy Herbert.

Into The Breach

Do you enjoy feeling like a tactical genius one moment only to marvel at your own stupidity in the next? Then have I got a game for you! Into The Breach released in 2018 and is the second game released by Subset Games, makers of FTL. Gameplay consists of deploying a team of three mechs with different abilities whose mission is to protect the last holdouts of humanity from giant bug-like monsters that have been growing underground. Each team of mechs feels unique and demands their own approach to taking out the bugs, and each run plays different than the last, offering an evergreen experience that really tickles that “One more run” part of your brain. I really cannot recommend it enough. If you have a Netflix account you can even play it on your mobile device for free! Why are you still reading this? Go download this game right now! – By Johnny Amizich

Castle Crashers

One of the original Xbox Live indie titles, I beat this game with every single playable character successfully ignoring years worth of homework as a young teenager. – by Lawrence Scotti

Return Of The Obra Dinn

In this time-travel puzzle game, the player has to deduce the answers to many mysteries like how so many people died aboard the titular ship, who was who, and why the graphics look like that. – by Pre-dead ghost

Umineko No Naku Koro Ni

This murder mystery visual novel about a family trapped on a private island is actually the greatest piece of fiction ever written. Just look at the title of any YouTube video about it or ask one of the eighteen people in the world who have played it! The plot is dense, the characters are compelling, the visuals are below average. Also, the gameplay is nonexistent because you literally just read it. But trust me! You know when you go to that one Chinese restaurant and the menu is almost illegible but you know the food is gonna smack? That’s Umineko. The soundtrack sounds like it was made for Mt. Olympus. It may have a higher word count than every Lord of the Rings book combined, but it only takes, like, 120 hours to read aaaaaaaaaaaand I can tell I’ve lost you and you’re never playing it. Your loss, I guess. My bad for trying to recruit you into the MLM this game really is. – By Connor Telford

Football Coach: College Dynasty

Have you ever had to pay a 17 year-old millions of dollars to move to Wyoming and play offensive tackle for your team? Did that newly-rich teenager proceed to get hurt in his first practice, missing the entire season and irreparably stunting his development? Did he then proceed to transfer to Alabama, blossoming into a first-round pick but leaving you with literally nothing to show for it? No? Then you’re missing out. Just like real life, 10/10. – By Lobster Jackson

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

A rogue-like dungeon crawler masterpiece that will consume thousands of hours of your life and leave you sounding like a total nut job. “A-and then I used mom’s knife plus soy milk to kill Mega Satan!” Sure you did TJ, now tell us when you’re gonna get a girlfriend? – by TJ Main

Fire Pro Wrestling World

With over 1,500 hours played over the past six years, ‘Fire Pro’ is the undisputed tribal chief of my Steam library. The game is the last hurrah for a series which has given wrestling fans the compelling gameplay they don’t deserve since 1989. For the record, there’s wrestlers who are world champion right now who weren’t even born when the first game came out. With a plethora of support that means the game can’t just be shut down like ‘WWE 2K’ titles, I could easily see myself playing the game for another 34 years.

The game has such longevity because it’s an open sandbox where you can make anyone do anything when that bell rings. Whether it be downloading your favorite anime character from the Workshop or delicately hand-crafting a move where they force their opponents to do the Griddy, the possibilities are endless. You can even edit how the CPU controls that wrestler, allowing you to form a true computer fight club. If AI is going to take over everyone’s job, the least they can do is kill each other for our amusement. For the record, the top dogs of my fight club are William Afton and Michael Cera. – By HG Punk

Unpacking

This one goes out to all of my fellow procrastinators out there. Because why would I want to unpack items from a vacation I took years ago or move things around to make my own home look nice? I can do that in Unpacking while convincing myself I’m getting ideas for the next time I rearrange my house (I will never take the time to rearrange my house). – By Daniel Johnson

Dusk

DUSK is a fun little indie horror FPS that is a direct homage to the super fast, floaty shooters of the 90s a la Quake. The intentionally dated graphics and pulpy level design legit make me feel like I’m playing this on a floppy disc at my friend’s house because my mom won’t let me play anything with blood. The soundtrack is also 100% bonafide industrial metal bangers by Andrew Hulshut, who for some reason is playing one of those guitars with way too many strings. – Colleen Nerney, Hard Times Editor

Disco Elysium

I have to go with Disco Elysium. The first time I played it I was blown away. It completely dodged every expectation I had, mostly because I thought it was going to be a dancing game like Dance Dance Revolution. It has disco in the title, after all. Turns out it’s not a dancing game, so I busted out the old leotard and sweatbands for nothing, but it’s still pretty cool. There’s some murder mystery going on, and all these dialogue trees and themes and stuff that I pretty much skipped through. Too confusing and boring. Mostly I just walked around collecting bottles to sell for money to buy drugs. Great game. – by Traye Holland

Void Bastards

Void Bastards is a rogue-like first-person shooter set in deep space, with a distinct cel-shaded art style that is instantly recognizable to anyone that loved 2000AD comics. As an awakened prisoner aboard a spaceship, you’ll be charting a course through the Nebula, making the most of your limited fuel and food reserves. Each jump is a choice between continued survival and certain death, as you loot derelict ships and shoot it out with pirates and aliens. Salvaged resources keep you fed, and your ship flying, but also let you craft better weapons and gadgets at your workbench.

Dying is inevitable, but that’s okay, as the next expendable convict gets hydrated and the mission proceeds ever onward. Each revived convict can have a positive or a negative attribute, and woe be you if roll the Smoker’s trait of randomly coughing–any hope of stealthily creeping around deep space derelicts infested with floating, blue-faced cherubs goes right out the airlock. Live. Die. Repeat. Maybe someday you’ll make it through to the other end of the Nebula, you never know.” – by Michelle Pereira

Cobalt Core

Even in an all-time year like 2023, Cobalt Core has stood out as one of my favorites of the year. Great deckbuilding gameplay that fans of any game like Slay the Spire will love, charming art and dialogue, and a chill soundtrack make Cobalt Core one of my favorite indies I’ve played. I wrote a lot more words about it that you can read here on Minus World as well! – By Parker Johnson

Hades

This is the game that introduced me to rogue-likes. I love the art design, the setting, the story, the boon system and really everything else about the game. The only downside I can think of is they made every character very attractive. When they put certain members of the Greek Pantheon on screen during dialogue I start howling like a wolf uncontrollably until I get a nosebleed. – by Jack H.

Dead Cells

Dead Cells is at this point a well-renowned Indie Darling turned success story. The game’s fast-paced Metroidvania Rogue-like also contains many Looter Elements with a strong diversity of weapons, enemies, and some genuinely killer boss fights. Aside from the game’s core mechanics, it offers a whole list of customization options, achievements, and even strange pieces of lore that refuse to offer a full picture of the collapsed kingdom- are you still reading this? C’mon man. Don’t make me do the whole… just play it, dude. It’s been around since 2018 which is basically forever ago. I shouldn’t need to sell you on it. Just watch a YouTube or a TikTok or a Reel about it, I don’t know. I have stuff to do. I’m actually going to go play Dead Cells, I think. See, runs are usually pretty quick, especially if you’re not very good at it- so I get to trick myself. I didn’t just waste an hour avoiding my work, I just did 4 quick 15-minute runs. Not the same thing. Anyway, the game is good- play it. – By E. Alexander Zimmermane

VA-11 Hall-A

Its very difficult to pick one favorite indie game in a sea of genre defining titles, but in the end for personal reasons i gotta give it to VA-11 Hall-A for its story and killer soundtrack – By Artemis / Artie2D

Spiritfarer

For anyone who has ever wished death upon their Animal Crossing villagers – Spiritfarer is for you. “”Oh cool, Zucker just said the exact same line of dialogue for the third time today,”” says the Animal Crossing: New Horizons player through gritted teeth and cascading tears. “”I can’t wait to see what he’ll repeat tomorrow!””

Fool that you are. If you were playing Spiritfarer, Zucker could die. You’d have an emotional chat with him at the gates to the afterlife where you intuit that in the mortal realm – he was your Uncle, or your best friend, or your hairdresser’s dog, or some other stuff, and he’d just taken the form of an octopus for reasons we can’t go into right now. And then you’d embrace, and he’d pass on in a beautiful show of flashing lights as the music swelled.

But this would only happen after you got to know Zucker, in the way you’ll get to know the likes of Astrid, Atul, Gustav and the rest of the motley crew in Spiritfarer. A gorgeous, truly emotionally resonant game in which you operate and customise the boat with which you’ll ferry these recently departed souls to the great beyond. Before you do that though, you take your time to know them, go on adventures with them, have deep, meaningful conversations about life and cute girls and other stuff with them. And then you watch them go forever in a beautiful kind of pyrrhic victory. It beats the hell out of watching them walk into trees and ask you for a clownfish every day. Absolutely no one asked, but if I were a spirit in Spiritfarer I’d be a giant bat and whoophee cushions would be my whole thing. I’d spend all day every day trying to get you to sit on a whoophee cushion. Now, dear viewer. I must go, forever. The 4 minutes I knew you were some of the most meaningful of my life, but all things must come to an end…Farewell. – by Brad Waters

Source of Madness

What were you expecting here? SOMA? Signalis? Two extremely thought-provoking, wonderful games, and two of my favorite indies. But here’s the thing: you already know them. I bet you don’t know Source of Madness (developed by Carry Castle).

Is it the best indie game I’ve played? No. But is it the best roguelite? Also no. Do I still think about dancing in the air around a flailing mass of limbs while spraying it with unruly sheets of lightning magic? More than you’d think! Source of Madness is a 2022 side-scrolling roguelite where you play a robed Acolyte with elemental powers, traversing lands blighted by eldritch horrors. The art and vibes are the main selling points, with Al-assisted textures adding a bewitching, recursive feel to the world of the Loam Lands. The monsters are also suitably insane: each is a procedurally generated mass of limbs, tentacles, eyes, and more that flails and throws itself at you, screeching all the while as if in revolt against its own monstrous form. Source of Madness also happens to be incredibly fun (and chaotic) to play. It’s a little janky at times, but that’s par for the course when dealing with horrors from the stars. What surprised me most is how rich in actual Lovecraft literature the world of the game is. There’s lots of name-dropping of Elder Gods, yes, but Source of Madness uses and connects the Cthulhu Mythos in interesting ways, with some new twists and a compelling aesthetic. Just take my advice and always buy the Flame Lance Ring.” – by Nik Theorin

Snood

In 1999, this was undoubtedly the hottest game to play in the school library when you were supposed to be writing a paper about mitochondria. Legend has it some people actually paid for it after completing the demo, but only because they’d never heard of Bubble Bobble. -by Ben Friedman

Indiana Jones and the Emperor’s Tomb

Looking at the short list of Indy games, Emperor’s Tomb takes the cake. Acting as a prequel to Temple of Doom, this journey sees Indy once again pitted against the Nazis, this time in search of the idol of Kour- …whoops. I think I misunderstood what was being asked of me here. – by Brad Lester

Roadwarden

If your sensibilities are anything like mine, there is no game as perfect as Roadwarden. Weave your way through a world that feels alive around you in a particularly grim fantasy world. It is a text-based RPG that makes fantastic use of isometric view pixel art. Part visual novel, part RPG adventure, and part living world. With every day that passes, your decisions begin to build towards the shape of the world to come. The characters feel as though they live in this world, and it is a world that has no particular reverence for you. It is stark, it is desperate, it is beautiful, and it is perfect. Chef’s kiss. – by Mason Kennedy

Necrosphere

Oh wait are you still reading this article? Then check out Necrosphere, a genuinely challenging 2D pixel art metroidvania. The twist? You only use the left and right arrow keys. Jump? Side keys. The sick jetpack you get later on? Side keys. Go play to find out how. Or just ignore this recommendation like you did with all the others. – by Daniel Rauter

Tunic

Have you ever wanted to turn on a game and feel like it’s in the wrong language, you don’t know what’s going on and you suck at video games? Look no further! Tunic wears its inspiration on its sleeve, however, if you can get over the blatant similarities to Crash Bandicoot, you’ll find a puzzle/adventure game unlike any other.

It’s the type of game where its secrets have secrets that are having an affair with other secrets. It also contains what may be, with no hyperbole, the best puzzle ever found in a video game. Unless there’s an obscure Picross level out there that holds the secret to world peace for some reason. That would be pretty cool, I guess.” – by Ted Curtis

Pyre

The underdog of the pantheon that Supergiant Games, where Hades sits on top for many, Pyre needs to be talked about more! It’s a weird blend of visual novel and religious rugby. What makes this so interesting is that losses don’t dictate in a game over, the story must go on! It becomes really cool how your character roster will matter in matches, from both story and gameplay reasons. Darren Korb has another brilliant soundtrack to add to his discography. – By CJ Sweeney

Hollow Knight

Combining the exploration of Super Metroid and Symphony of the Night with a Tim Burton aesthetic, Hollow Knight is a massive and rewarding action-platformer with thumb-busting boss fights and adorable characters that pop with personality. – By Matt Shore, Occasional Human

Dodgeball Academia

A lot of people love indie games for their risk taking and examination of deep emotional themes. I do as well but I love whipping flaming dodgeballs at snot nosed kids even more. Dodgeball Academia allows you to do just that. With an art style and story straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon, it’s a charming, clever and oftentimes legitimately funny dodgeball RPG.

It’s structured like a retro JRPG where you explore, complete quests and gain new party members. Like Pokémon, enemies stand around the world and when you walk in their line of sight they challenge you. Only here, instead of engaging in animal abuse, you get to smack annoying kids in the face with dodgeballs. Even better is that you can pull off super moves to really pelt those little brats. Finally we gamers can be the ones doing the pelting.” – by Matt Fresh

Plenty of more indie games to ignore on the next page! Click the “2” to keep reading.

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