Disney Unveils First Look at Upcoming ‘Untitled Star Wars Profit’
SAN FRANCISCO — Disney executives have given the first sneak peek at a soon to be profitable entry into the…
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Mark Roebuck — Page 48
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Welp: We Were Gonna Do Something Called ‘GameShark Week,’ But We’re Out of Shit to Write About Already
Fuck, man. I pitched GameShark Week and figured it was a home run for sure. I lied and said I…
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Zelda Timeline Explained to No One in Particular
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — The correct chronological order of the events depicted in The Legend of Zelda series of video games…
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Sega Announces Next Sonic Game Will Be One of the Bad Ones
TOKYO — Sega announced today that they are working on a new game featuring their iconic mascot Sonic the Hedgehog,…
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We Spent 15 Years Testing the Xbox 360 and PS3 and are Ready to Declare a Winner
Any lifelong gamer knows that every so many years we are treated to the cutthroat environment that surrounds the launch…
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Idris Elba Clarifies That He Just Tweeted That Pic Because He Likes Knuckles a Lot
LOS ANGELES — Idris Elba clarified that the viral tweet many have taken as confirmation that he is playing Knuckles…
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Shy Guy Discovers Philosophical Doppelganger Why Guy
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — During a routine shift guarding a stretch of Mushroom Kingdom, erstwhile henchman Shy Guy met his bizarro…
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YouTube Film Critic Worried After Seeing Video of Robot Rolling Its Eyes Convincingly
SAN FRANCISCO — A tech demo showing a recently developed automaton with the ability to critique movies and roll their…
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Christopher Nolan Reveals He Will Not Watch YouTube Videos Unless They’re on IMAX Screen
LOS ANGELES — Director and cinema traditionalist Christopher Nolan has revealed that he refuses to watch any YouTube links he…
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Psst. You. Yeah, You. Wanna Buy a PS5?
Hey, kid. Yeah, you. Hey, c’mere. I’m talkin’ to ya! Hey, you kids want to buy a PlayStation 5? Just…
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