Peter Molyneux Confirms Milo Died Five Years Ago
GUILDFORD, U.K. — Famed game director Peter Molyneux, completely unprompted, confirmed to members of the press that Milo, the artificial…
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Gabe Porter
39 stories found
Super Smash Bros Ultimate Finally Lets Gamers Imagine “What If Cloud Fought Sephiroth?”
TOKYO — Following years of speculation, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate finally allows fans to imagine who would win in a…
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Gamer Knows Way Around Midgar Better Than Own Neighborhood
GALESBURG, Ill. — Local gamer Brett Gunderson has confirmed that he can navigate through the virtual town of Midgar from…
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PS5 In-Stock at Neighbor’s House
YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — New reports confirm that the PlayStation 5 is finally in stock, available for $0.00 (not including…
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Feminist Hero Actually Prefers Velma
BRAINERD, Minn. — Brave local man Joseph Brita has confirmed his preference for Velma over the more conventionally attractive Daphne…
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‘Mario Party Superstars’ Adds Lifelike AI That Takes Fucking Forever With Their Turn
KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo confirmed today that Mario Party Superstars will feature computer players with advanced AI that allows them…
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Lonely Gamer Sits on Hands So It Feels Like Someone Else Is Playing
FAYETTEVILLE Ark. — Isolated gamer Greg Biscuit has resorted to numbing his hands and then playing video games to alleviate…
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Total Bummer: Mysterious VHS Tape Found In Forest Just Porn
RICHMOND, Va. — Local paranormal enthusiast Walker Burroughs’ latest trip through the woods reportedly ended with disappointment after he realized…
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Indie Director’s Career Tragically Cut Short by Marvel Ten Year Contract
LOS ANGELES — Sources have sadly confirmed that indie director Yohanna Hultz’s promising career has tragically been cut short as…
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Ranking the Final Fantasy Games Just to Piss You Off
Square Enix’s iconic RPG series Final Fantasy has enthralled gamers for over three decades. With such a broad and devoted…
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