Leaked Internal Sega Memo Confirms Tails Has Two Buttholes

Posted on by Tim Graham

TOKYO — Newly revealed documents dating back to the early 1990s substantiate the long-running rumor that Sonic the Hedgehog’s vulpine sidekick Tails has two buttholes, according to an anonymous leaker at Sega.

“Sega has tried for years to keep this under wraps, but I felt that Sonic fans deserved to finally know the truth,” said the whistleblower, wearing a Sonic mask to protect their identity. “Sega made a bold character design choice early on, and then tried to walk it back out of fear that Western audiences just wouldn’t get it. There were clues, however, and rumors have circulated within the fan community for decades. Now, fans can rest easy knowing they were absolutely correct.”

Tails’ creator, the ordinarily press-shy Yasushi Yamagauchi, was finally able to come clean about the butthole situation after the leaked memo surfaced.

“Because of Tails’ unique anatomy, there were fundamental questions that needed to be addressed,” said Yamaguchi. “Miles ‘Tails’ Prower has two tails, yes? Now try to imagine how silly it would look if there were only one butthole beneath two tails. The absurd image makes me chuckle, ha ha. How could such a thing even be possible? The executives pushed back, but I was insistent. I threatened to resign if I didn’t get my way — that’s how passionate I was about this detail. They finally agreed that the two buttholes would be canon, but have since refused to depict them in a clear manner, usually obscuring the character’s bottom with his fluffy tails.”

Sonic super-fans such as Georgia Fink feel vindicated now that the long-rumored “Double-B” theory has been proven correct.

“I fucking knew it,” said Fink. “My Discord group and I have spent countless hours up-rezzing 16-bit sprites and scouring old gaming magazines, gathering evidence. The red pill for me was a scan of a grainy polaroid from the ’90s that was passed around on the forums. It shows a young Yamagauchi sitting at a terminal, working on an early Tails sprite whose rear end certainly appears to have two buttholes. It’s blurry, but it’s there. Sega gaslit us; they called us crazy, obsessive and even perverted. But who’s laughing now?”

At press time, fan artists around the world were reportedly struggling to keep up with skyrocketing demand for erotic Tails commissions.

Dynasty Warriors Movie Casts First 4,000 People

Posted on by Max Barth

LOS ANGELES — Following an internal announcement that the casting department had reached the important milestone sooner than expected, sources say that the adaptation of popular video game franchise Dynasty Warriors has hit the ground running, already hiring the first 4,000 people who will need to fill the movie’s many sprawling crowd shots.

“We’re overjoyed to share with fans that the still-untitled Dynasty Warriors film that was announced last fall is already deep into production, with over nine million actors still auditioning for uncast roles,” said Sony Pictures in a statement released Friday along with a 4,000 headshot slideshow introducing the still-growing cast. “Bringing this franchise onto the screen has been logistically challenging, but we’re prepared to start filming within a few decades, once we’ve settled on our leading cast of four hundred.” 

Actor Cheng Xian, 27, was recently cast to play Anonymous Warrior #3721, a character who plays a pivotal role pointlessly accosting one of the dozens of tertiary main characters with a poleax before being kicked in the head by a horse.

“As an actor, it’s a dream come true to work on a project as large as this,” says Xian, who has been replaying Dynasty Warriors to better understand the headspace of one of the game’s minor characters. “As a gamer, it’s a dream come true to bring the endless parade of mass violence and disrespect for the human form that Dynasty Warriors is known for to a wider audience. However, as a human being, it’s absolutely terrifying to be around so many people during a pandemic. Statistically, in a group this large at least a few hundred of us will die from preventable illness.” 

Studio leaks and hints stitched together by fans since the announcement have led to anticipation of a higher profile casting announcement in the coming weeks, based on speculation that popular character Lu Bu’s hair might be portrayed by motion capture pioneer Andy Serkis.

“I’m not saying yes, and I’m not saying no. If it happens, I promise I will bring to the role the unique artistic commitment that I always bring to any role,” says Serkis, recently returned from an Emmy-winning stint playing a bloodhound in Peaky Blinders. “I also always promise to bring a keen respect for the subject matter, the ability to crouch and crawl around like a goblin, and a prohibitively expensive motion capture suit that I keep forgetting to wash.”

As of press time, talks were already underway for a sequel, provided enough humans to round out the cast still exist on the planet by the time production is slated to begin in 2034.

Blood-Soaked YouTuber Desperately Tries to Pass Off Hitting Pedestrian With Car as Social Experiment

Posted on by Camden Brazile

LOS ANGELES — YouTube personality David Patterson, better known by his internet personality SuperVGMan64, caused a horrible tragedy this morning when he accidentally hit a pedestrian with his car, a move the YouTuber frantically tried to pass off as an elaborate internet social experiment.

“What’s up guys? SuperVGMan64 here back with another hilarious social experiment,” trembled Patterson on a hastily-recorded cell phone video. “Today we’re seeing how people react if I do a hit-and-run on a pedestrian, and this is 100% fake and all just part of my video. We’re going to see if I can pay the few bystanders $10,000 to look the other way as I speed off into the night and have my car reported stolen next morning. Oh God, what have I done? Let’s find out and jump right into it!”

SuperVGMan64 fan Caleb Trusler expressed their affinity for the experiment in the unedited video’s comment section.

“Amazing video! So funny and realistic,” Trusler began. “How did he get the blood to look so real? Very high production video here. Whoever played the pedestrian did a great job begging for their life only for SuperVGMan to dump him in the lake, you don’t usually get that kind of acting on YouTube. It really made me think about how society views hitting people with your car.”

YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki made a statement about the video’s problematic content.

“This kind of blatant violence and recklessness has no place on YouTube,” Wojcicki told reporters. “So as a lesson to Mr. Patterson, we’re going to leave it up and put six or seven ads in the video as a punishment.”

At press time, SuperVGMan64 reported that the social experiment was a smash success, and his upcoming vehicular manslaughter trial prank video could be found exclusively on his Patreon.

HBO Max Partners With Snapchat to Automatically Remove Content 10 Seconds After You Start Watching

Posted on by Doug Kolic

NEW YORK — Warner Bros. Discovery President and CEO David Zaslav announced a new partnership with Snapchat today that will see content from HBO Max removed exactly ten seconds after subscribers start watching.

“I think we’ve finally hit the idea jackpot!” explained an enthusiastic Zaslav. “We’ve been getting shit on a ton recently for canceling big projects and removing content like thieves in the night, so today I’m ecstatic to announce a new partnership with Snapchat that will give our valued customers a head’s up of an entire ten seconds before we remove their favorite shows permanently from our platform. We want to remind our viewers that content is fleeting — you shouldn’t try to hold onto your favorite movie or television show or job at HBO Max, because all that stuff eventually just goes away. Even if it’s specifically our fault and no one else’s.”

HBO Max subscriber Kelly Drysdale is reportedly happy that the streaming service that she has been paying for since it launched in 2020 is finally putting viewers first.

“Initially, I was upset when I heard they were shitcanning stuff I wanted to watch,” said Drysdale. “But then they must have heard everyone’s complaints and quickly made a deal with Snapchat to offer this amazing new service, which will give us the opportunity to watch the first scene of our favorite show, or at least ten seconds of it. I guess I’ll just read a recap of the episode on Reddit or Twitter or something? Wait, this actually sounds like a fucking horrible idea, is this some kind of joke? I must have been high when I first heard about it. I have a really bad drug problem.”

Netflix CEO Reed Hastings hounded us for an interview when he heard we were doing a story on a media company messing up that wasn’t his. 

“Fuck yeah!” hollered Hastings, desperately trying to high-five the people around him. “We’ve been in the goddamn shitter all year after failing to meet financial targets and announcing a new ad-supported pay tier that nobody wants. Well that’s all forgotten for the time being thanks to the big brains over at Warner Bros. Discovery taking the heat off us with this steaming pile of an idea. You have my promise that Netflix will never offer such an insulting, offensive service to our loyal customer base. You know, what’s left of them.”

At press time, Zaslav was busy pitching another great plan to remove all media content entirely and just register as a CPA firm already.

Litany of Mental Health Problems No Match for Getting High and Playing Minecraft

Posted on by Camden Brazile

COLUMBIA, Mo. — A recent mental health study from the University of Missouri found that while the number of reported cases of mental health issues are rising, they can often easily be combated by the practice of getting high and playing Minecraft.

“I suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, but when I smoke a bowl and load up my survival world I stop thinking about it entirely,” study participant Reese Cromwell said. “I’ve tried a few different medications in the past, and all have their respective downsides, but getting stoned and trying to build a fun roller coaster in creative mode has no side effects, and doesn’t require any insurance.”

Mental health psychologist Dr. Abigail Milano explained how this recent revelation has affected her practice. 

“I’ve severed my ties with Lexapro and Xanax, and have updated my outgoing prescriptions to reflect what patients now require,” Dr. Milano said. “Whenever someone comes in with mental distress, we start by having them take a gummy and start a cow farm. If that proves ineffective, we are prepared to increase both the potency of marijuana and the amount of mods we install into the java edition of the game.”

Professional Minecraft player EthosLab claimed he has been unshakable for years.

“If my house was burning to the ground while I was creating a redstone contraption, no chance I would notice or even really care,” Etho said. “One time when I was streaming, my house was swatted. I didn’t even budge an inch. They stuck automatic weapons in my face and screamed, but I was only thinking about putting the finishing touches on my enchantment room.”

As of press time, researchers were pleased that this treatment was found to be effective with even the most mentally disturbed group on the planet, League of Legends players.

Sony Announces ‘Last of Us’ Prequel ‘A Bunch of Us’

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following this week’s release of The Last of Us Part 1, Sony has announced another entry into the popular series, a prequel called A Bunch of Us. 

“We’re really excited to release this game, and probably remake it in a few years if we’re being honest,” said Neil Druckmann, director of The Last of Us series. “We’ve already explored what happened after that groundbreaking first entry, but this time we wanted to see what it was like just before the events of the first game. This is set during the early days of the Cordyceps brain infection outbreak, when there were still a bunch of people around. Including Joel and Ellie, of course.” 

“But like, a bunch more, too,” he added. 

The game will focus on the years in between the initial outbreak in 2013 and the events of the first game, which is set some 20 years later. 

“I think it’s a great opportunity to get in there and tell a lot of the story that we merely alluded to before,” said Jennifer Wilkes, a lead programmer on A Bunch of Us. “We see Joel meet Tess and Bill and really see how their relationships were formed. It’s important for us as modern storytellers to dig into every nook and cranny of the timeline and explore it in a way that absolutely nobody was hoping we would. Also, we’ll probably remake this thing in a few years, if we’re being honest.” 

Gamers weren’t convinced of the necessity of the prequel. 

“A Bunch of Us?” asked Adam Wallace, a local gamer that was surprised by the announcement. “That sounds like some silly party game or something. It seems incredibly unnecessary but then again, somehow The Last of Us of all things has become a franchise with a yearly release at this point, so I guess they’ve got to do what they’ve got to do. I’m going to buy it for 70 dollars, but I tell you something, I’m not very happy about it.”

As of press time, A Bunch of Us had been preemptively review bombed on Steam.

Review: ‘Kirby’s Dream Buffet’ Is a Sobering Look Into How We Fatten Kirbys for Slaughter

Posted on by Patrick Sullivan

Kirby’s Dream Buffet is adorable, nonsensical fun that has Kirby and pals racing, playing, and fighting to win in a food-themed battle royale. It’s cute, it’s charming, and it’s real fucked up that we have to eat the things after the awards ceremony.

Underneath the friendly appearance it puts off, Kirby’s Dream Buffet is less like previous installments in the Kirby series, and is more similar to The Jungle by Upton Sinclair or Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser in how it dives deep into the dark underbelly of Kirby harvesting. While the rhetoric is heavy handed at times, Dream Buffet shatters the long held belief that Kirbys are organically sourced, farm-to-table meals and shows the tragic existence of a Kirby raised for slaughter.

The game comes with a huge slew of customization options from changing the color of your Kirby to giving it a cute little hat, all with the sole purpose of getting you more attached to your food. While traumatic, I can appreciate the attention to detail of having Kirby beg for his life as you reach for your fork. It’s those little details that really make a game shine, and Dream Buffet is no exception.

Mmm, mmm, delicious pain.

As for the gameplay itself, it’s a blast to compete against your friends in the main game mode, the Gourmet Grand Prix. Racing other Kirbys, navigating the obstacle courses and collecting strawberries and other treats to add natural flavorings to your Kirby is just wonderful, and you and up to three other buddies can all sit in silence at the end of a match wondering if you should finally switch to being vegetarian after witnessing the inhumanities on display in Kirby’s Dream Buffet. 

Overall, the game is just a ball, with the different modes and unlockables providing hours of fun for whoever picks it up at the relatively cheap price point of $15. The story is outright phenomenal, and the choice to have the main focus be forcing Kirbys to dance and perform for our enjoyment so they can eat whatever slop we deem to provide shook me to my core. Kirby’s Dream Buffet was honestly the first game in a long time to make me openly weep, and I will readily recommend it to any Kirby fan that still thinks it okay to have Kirbys as a snack.

Vampire Survivors: All the Italian Memes and Secrets Explained

Posted on by Damiano Gerli

Vampires used to be cool, didn’t they? Mysterious immortal beings who could transform into bats and bite necks to feed on blood. Then, somehow, the world decided they’d make great boyfriend material and these poor bloodsuckers became laughing stocks of the horror genre. Finally, in 2022 indie smash hit Vampire Survivors brought vampires back to their full power. But what about all the memes and secrets of Vampire Survivors, what is that all about?. 

The game was developed by one man team Poncle, working on weekends, since he wanted to develop something he could pass the time with, inspired by casual games like Magic Survival and his work on online slot machines. Since he never really intended the game to be profitable or the smash hit of 2022, he filled Vampire Survivors with obscure memes and references to Italian jokes that only a few would actually get.

So, after several months of early access, with Vampire Survivors doing pretty well for itself, are we actually able to decipher all the memes and secrets of Vampire Survivors? Let’s take a look.

Vampire Survivors: All the Memes and Secrets

The Weapons

While some of the weapons are quite obvious references to the Castlevania series, like Holy Wand and Bloody Tear, let us take a look at the more obscure ones. The flying bombarding bird Peachone, for example, is a phonetic transcription of the Italian word “piccione,” which simply means pigeon. The watery attack La Borra is a reference to one notorious Italian meme, a strange phone call on a quiz show which turned quite ridiculous as the contestant was supposed to say “beer,” but instead kept repeating “borra,” which sounds – in its original language – sounds like a sexual reference. As for Gatti amari, I can’t be 100% sure but I’m pretty sure it is a reference to the saying “cazzi amari,” which is, well, quite an impolite way of saying “being in trouble.”

The two four point weapons are both references to the same thing, which are quite obscure even for Italians. Phiera Der Tuphello is named after the parody song “Alla Fiera Der Tufello” by Roman band Latte e i Suoi Derivati. Besides the name, there does not seem to be other connections, but it does make quite a pair with “Eight the sparrow.” Translated in Italian, that would be the title of one of the more famous Latte e i Suoi Derivati songs. Pummarò, while not really useful to attack enemies, is still necessary to create evolved weapons, and it is actually a reference to tomato puree. As a product used in many Italian homes through the ‘80s and ‘90s, it does make sense that it is used to recover health points in Vampire Survivors. 

The Characters

There is no shortage of obscure references in the characters’ names as well, especially since the Belpaese family was supposed to be just a placeholder for more serious names. But, in the end, Poncle got stuck with them as the game gained a following and it became too late to change them. For example “Poeratcho” is a sort of English phonetic transcription for the Roman term “poraccio,” literally “poor guy.”

Mortaccio is also a similar case, basically a play on the roman insult “mortacci,” which one would literally translate to “your dead ancestors.” Definitely quite appropriate as Mortaccio in Vampire Survivors is a skeleton. O Sole Meeo is an earned reference to classic Italian song “O’ sole mio,” but since the name belongs to a dog, it is probably no great compliment to the song itself.

Moving on to anime, the sturdy Yatta Cavallo is a clear allusion to classic series Yatterman (Yattaman), quite popular in Italy throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s. Cosmo Pavone also joins the rank, a character from the series Yattodetaman, also produced by Tatsunoko. But that’s not all for anime, as Boon Marrabbio is an even more obscure reference to one of the characters in Italian TV series Love me Licia, which was the made-in-Italy live-action sequel to anime Love Me, My Knight. Yeah, don’t ask.

Finally, we get into television. It does make sense that Suor Clerici’s main weapon is “La Borra,” as Antonella Clerici was the host of the quiz show of the “borra” incident. Sir Ambrojoe is probably a reference to Ambrogio, a butler/driver character which appeared in several Italian TV ads. Divano Thelma is instead a clearly direct reference to peculiar celebrity “the divine Othelma,” a notorious TV magician who got convicted several times for fraud. Big Trouser, instead, is a reference to classic Italian Carnival character Pantalone, a name that actually means “trousers” in Italian. 

Items and Levels

Finally, we come to some of the passive items and levels. Ndjua Fritta Tanto is a boon for many players, the perfect way to dispose of a lot of enemies in a short time, but where does the name come from? It actually comes from a special cured meat, usually made in the south of Italy, which it is well known for being incredibly spicy. Even well, Vampire Survivors goes in for the kill, since “fritta tanto”, actually means deep fried. One would definitely expect that a fried spicy salami will burn your mouth and turn you into a fire spewing survivor. For another food item, “Tiragisù” is actually a pun on the classic Tiramisu, which in Italian actually means a “pick me up”, while Tiragisù would read as “let me down”.

Il Molise is one of Vampire Survivors’ hidden levels, its description seems to refer to it as a place that doesn’t actually exist. That’s a clear reference to a well known meme about Italian region Molise which is so small that indeed, it is usually said that “it doesn’t really exist” and people that come from there are just making it up.

Hope this clarifies a lot of your questions about many of the obscure and hidden references in Vampire Survivors, but if any more are added in the game, we will be sure to update this guide.

Persona 5 Royal: How to Defeat Okumura

Posted on by William Quant

Persona 5 Royal is an updated version of the critically acclaimed Persona 5. One of the added bonuses of this definitive version of sorts is that virtually all the Palace Boss fights have been updated. The fifth Palace boss, Kunikazu Okumura, is easily the most frustrating of all these updated battles. In addition to having a 30-minute time limit in what amounts to a battle of attrition, the Big Bang Burger magnate has an additional condition to defeating the waves of worker robots he throws at you.

Players need to prepare big time for the fast food father and there are several ways to go about it. We have the guide to help you master the difficulty spike and defeat him, given you reach a level in the mid-40s before you face the corrupt businessman.  

How to Prepare for Okumura

Attain Rank 10 with Star Confidant 

The Togo ability for maxing out Hifume’s Star Confidant makes this battle substantially easier. What it does is allow you to switch out members of the party on anyone’s turn. Every wave of enemies that Okumura throws at you has different sets of weaknesses, meaning you’ll need to swap out for efficiency’s sake. This is also key because All-Out Attacks are disabled for the entire fight, however, you may still use Baton Passes.

Acquire the Skills Dekaja, Dekunda, and Amrita Drop

Dekaja is a skill that nullifies buffs for all enemies. This is crucial because Okumura will increase the defense of one member of each wave of his minions. The workers Okumura sends out for each wave must all be defeated at the same time. The raised defense of even one, then, will cause there to always be one left behind and force you to face that wave yet again. This maybe wouldn’t be so much of a problem if the battle didn’t have a timer. Ann learns Dekaja at Level 16, however if she is underleveled or you deleted the move, there is another relatively easy method to getting it.

During the Okumura saga, the Twin Wardens will ask to be taken to the Maid Cafe in Akihabara. You cannot take them there if you haven’t been there at least once yourself. If you can sit through the rather awkward scene, one of the Skill Cards the Twins will reward you with is Dekaja, which you can use to teach the skill to any of Joker’s Personas. Also, if you had Ann forget Dekaja, you can have her relearn it by going to the chapel in Kanda, where you regularly meet Hifume.   

Dekunda is another useful skill for this fight because it nullifies debuffs for all allies. Okumura will lower your defenses at certain points in the battle, so using this can help if you somehow can’t get your hands on Dekaja. Amrita Drop heals all ailments for the entire party and is the final clutch skill to have handy. At certain points in battle, Okumura will attempt to inflict your entire party with Hunger. Haru will know it upon recruitment, so make sure she keeps it.

Okumura Boss Battle Walkthrough

As previously mentioned, all enemies in each wave have to be killed at the same time or else Okumura will just summon them again. Some of them will get self-destruct orders after a couple of turns, meaning one of them will die, however they will not count as being defeated and the whole group will just show up again. This is infuriating thanks to the 30-minute time limit. 

Because of this time limit, it may be wise to speed through any much of the dialogue that shows up during the fight, even if it is story and character relevant.

For quick reference, here are the weaknesses of each wave of enemies: 

1st – Fire and Wind

2nd – Ice and Psy

3rd –  Electric and Nuclear

4th – Wind and Bless

5th – Psy and Curse

6th and 7th – No weaknesses


For the first wave, you can take them down rather easily by focusing on their weaknesses. Note that Okumura will target a random member of the party and focus all enemy attacks on them. Having Ann and Morgana on the team can make quick work of them, especially if Ann happens to inflict the Burn status on any of them and Morgana or Joker can follow up with even more Wind damage.

The second wave is where the real trouble begins. Okumura can now act twice in a row per turn. He will abuse this liberally by pumping up the defense on only one of his workers and lower your whole party’s defense. This is where Dekaja will come in handy. Haru and her Psy damage should be your biggest weapon here.

The third wave will begin the same as the previous one, so use Dekaja as soon as possible. This should be your method for every phase thereafter as well. Makoto works great here, moreso than Ryuji would, although he is also an option. It should note that this wave also has no resistances to Gun damage, so if need be, open fire or use a Gun skill for anyone who can’t deal super effective damage. 

The fourth wave acts similarly, except this time being weak to Wind and Bless. Morgana works well here again. If Joker has a useful Persona that has Bless damage, feel free to bust it out. They again do not resist Gun damage, so use it as an alternative. Repeat this for the fifth wave, changing focus to Haru and her Psy damage. If Joker has a Curse using Persona, keep it as backup. 

 

In the meantime, be wary of both your HP and SP. Use Morgana as your primary healer, especially when his Wind attacks won’t deal the most damage. SP gets drained quickly in this lengthy battle and items to recover them are rare. Be sure to have some Leblanc Coffee on hand or, better yet, the SP Adhesive 3 from Takemi’s clinic. The latter will restore 7 SP every single turn and is perhaps the most useful equip item in the game.

From the sixth wave forward, there are no more weaknesses or resistances on the enemies. A giant executive worker robot comes here and will thankfully take damage from everything. It does have a massive attack, though, in the form of Big Bang Challenge. The turn prior to using it, it will charge up with Big Bang Order. Big Bang Challenge deals heavy Almighty damage and inflicts Hunger on anyone it hits. Block when Big Bang Order is used and be prepared to use Amrita Drop or similar skills or items to keep your party fresh.

For the seventh and final waves, Okumura will send Cognitive Haru after you. If you’re low on SP, don’t worry about using too many skills. Once Haru is down to a certain amount of health or when a certain number of turns pass, Okumura will order his robot daughter to self-destruct. Unlike his workers, when Cognitive Haru self-destructs, the wave will end. You will want to block to avoid the heavy Almighty damage that will come when she blows up, however. Finally, Okumura himself is the final enemy. The abusive father and boss has virtually no defense, so it should only take a couple hits to finish him off. Enjoy his groveling and the story twist that follows.

Persona 5 Royal is now available on PlayStation 4 and releases on PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox One Series X/S, Nintendo Switch, and PC October 21st.         

Rumbleverse: 5 Tips to Achieve Victory

Posted on by Brendan Bell

Iron Galaxy’s latest game, Rumbleverse, is now available to download. This free-to-play title is a battle royale game with a focus on melee combat instead of ranged combat, setting it apart from most games in the battle royale genre. Before you jump into this melee battle royal, here are a few tips to help you get your first Rumbleverse win.

Understand the Stamina System in Rumbleverse:

Rumbleverse Character Running

It’s very easy to run out of stamina while playing Rumbleverse since it’s required to climb, jump, dodge or perform a special move. Both normal and air dodges cost 27 stamina each. Holding down the run button will cause stamina to rapidly decrease. You’ll become winded once you run out. When in this state, you’ll take more damage and won’t be able to do anything that costs stamina. If hit while winded, this will trigger a stamina break, This will stun you but once it ends, you’ll have your stamina back.

Recover from Knockdowns With Attacks:

Rumbleverse Spinning Backfist Instructions

When knocked down during combat, your character has the chance to stay down and recover stamina before getting back up. In this position, you can’t be attacked unless hit with an elbow drop. The best way to recover from a knockdown and catch your opponent off guard is with a wake-up attack. You can get up as soon as your character’s head is raised. Once this happens, press the basic attack button to perform a spinning backfist. Beware that this is punishable if it is blocked or dodged by another player. Getting knocked down and then pressing the vicious attack button will perform a low blow. This attack leaves the opponent stunned, allowing you to land another attack.

Learn About Rumbleverse’s Attack Priority:

Rumbleverse Pause Screen Map

In Rumbleverse, some attacks can cancel out other attacks. This is called Attack Priority. Pausing the game will show an Attack Priority chart on the left side of the screen. The higher an attack is on the chart, the more priority it has. For example, if two players are fighting each other and one does a basic strike while the other does a Vicious attack, the basic strike will win that fight since it’s higher on the chart. Two attacks of the same priority that happen at the same time will cause two players to clash. This will cause both players to separate temporarily and also build up the Superstar meter.

Always Elbow Drop the Bullseyes:

Rumbleverse Bullseye Loot

You’ll see glowing red circles all over the ground once you land on the map in Rumbleverse. These are bullseyes. You’re gonna want to elbow drop them because they give extra loot. Depending on what height you drop from, the loot will vary. Doing a normal elbow drop will give you loot such as stamina drinks, magazines that give common special moves, and partially broken weapons. Doing an elbow drop from a building will give loot such as normal weapons, a big chicken for health recovery, and a purple magazine that grants the best special moves. If a bullseye isn’t glowing purple, don’t bother. That means it’s already been used by another player.

Watch How Many Powders You Consume:

Rumbleverse Arms Powder

During a match of Rumbleverse, powders can be found inside crates. There are three kinds: damage, health, and stamina. Consuming a powder will increase the respective attribute by 10%. In the bottom right corner of the screen, you’ll see how many powders you’ve consumed so far. Keep an eye on this meter as there’s a limit to how many can be consumed.  During a solo match, up to 10 of these powders can be collected and distributed across the three attributes. For example, you can increase your damage and health 4 times but only increase your stamina twice. In Duos matches, the powder limit is lowered to 8.