BELLEVUE, Wash. — Formerly unemployed master thief Sly Cooper has landed a new job. Bungie has confirmed that raccoon will be joining the studio as the lead of the Marathon art department.
Game director of Marathon Joe Ziegler believes that Sly’s skill set will take the game’s art direction to the next level.
“We couldn’t be more thrilled to have Sly joined the team. I honestly can’t believe that Sony has just been having him sit at home for the last 12 years. With him on board we’re gonna get so many people’s art to put in the game and now we don’t even need to pay anyone other than him. With the money we’re saving on artists thanks to his expertise, we’ll be able to implement an even more complex microtransaction system.”
Sly himself is excited to get back to doing what he does best.
“I’m a master thief, it’s in my blood. Literally. My whole bloodline is thieves, I was born to steal things but Sony has just had me sitting at home for almost 15 years. Thanks to Bungie I’m finally able to get back out there and show that I still have it. As lead of the art department, I pledge that Marathon is going to have some of the finest art that gamers have ever seen no matter who I have to steal it from. No artwork is safe or my name isn’t Sly Cooper.”
Sly’s appointment to the position comes after a long hiring process that saw multiple master thieves apply.
“I’ve been enjoying retirement but I saw the ad posting that Bungie wanted a master thief as head of the art department and figured a new challenge would be nice at this stage of my life,” said DB Cooper from an undisclosed location. “I’ve never stolen art before and I’m not quite sure what a video game is so I thought it would be fun to give it a shot but it is what it is. At least the job still went to a Cooper. That raccoon seems like a good kid, I’m sure he’ll do such a good job that artists won’t even notice their work has been stolen until they play the game.”
At press time, Bungie has announced a commemorative Sly themed Destiny 2 event where players can buy over priced cosmetics based on Sly’s first thefts for the studio.
