WALLA WALLA, WASHINGTON – Gamer Ian Wilde is reportedly heartbroken after learning that the companion he romanced in Baldur’s Gate 3, Shadowheart, has also been romanced by other gamers.
“Shadowheart, how could you?” wept Wilde. “I hear you’ve been running around, getting romanced by other gamers left and right. All the dialogues we had together. All the quests we went on. Freeing you from the pod. Finding the Nightsong. That night we shared in the lake. Did all of that mean nothing to you? Now I see why you worship the goddess of secrets.”
According to stunned sources, Wilde found out about Shadowheart being romanced by another gamer after he had a friend over who was also playing Baldur’s Gate 3. As the two talked about the game and Wilde brought up his romance with Shadowheart, his friend mentioned that they had also romanced the NPC. According to eyewitnesses, at that time Wilde became distraught, pacing around the room, crying and shouting at his friend and demanding he get out of his house.
“He exploded,” said Ian’s friend, Jacob Patrick. “He was throwing things around the house and yelling ‘How could you?’ I couldn’t tell if he was joking at first but then he started sobbing and it was not a joke. Very loud.”
After kicking out Jacob, Ian spent hours browsing internet forums and YouTube comment sections, where he saw hundreds of comments and posts by gamers talking about their romance with Shadowheart. After gathering this “evidence” as he called, he reportedly booted up Baldur’s Gate 3, where he attempted to confront Shadowheart over her numerous “affairs.” However, as Baldur’s Gate 3 had no dialogue options relevant to his situation, he resorted to shouting at Shadowheart on his computer screen.
“He woke me up screaming at his computer,” said Anna Wilde, Ian’s mom. “I had work in the morning. Are other boys his age like this?”
As of press time Shadowheart did not respond to an immediate request for comment about the situation, but did seem potentially open for romancing.
