CANNES, France — A standing ovation greeted a displeased Harrison Ford last night as he returned to his seat after using the restroom halfway through the Cannes premiere of Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny.
“That seemed like a little much, honestly,” said Francois Boucher, an attendee of the Cannes Film Festival. “I get that we’re here to honor our finest artists and all of that, but we really shouldn’t clap every time these guys come into a room. It sort of dilutes the whole thing I feel like. Maybe we should just start clapping when we really like something, and that will clear up a lot of the confusion.”
“Also this way the movie won’t get disrupted every time a celebrity goes out to get a drink,” they added.
Ford, returning to the iconic Indiana Jones role for the fifth time, was vocally unamused by his reception upon returning from the bathroom.
“What’s the big idea here,” he grumbled to gathered reporters, as the film behind them entered its final action sequence. “Get out of my way so I can see the damn picture. Quit clapping. Turn these lights off. What the hell is the idea here? Why has my life of material success filled me with such rage?!”
As of press time, Ford continued ranting as the film concluded, telling the gathered audience they were what was wrong with the world, prompting another standing ovation.
