THE IVORY ISLE — A local Non-Playable Character of a medieval RPG reportedly refused to display their quest icon above their head after being too introverted to cause a scene.
“I just don’t want to bother anybody,” said NPC Preston Cromwell. “I need some big, strapping underdog hero to fetch me four apples from around town for me to make my stew, but I feel so bad inconveniencing anyone. Sure, I would give them some stew for their efforts, which would heal their stamina and health, but I’m sure nobody wants anything like that. It’s probably not even worth putting a large, yellow question mark above my head. I should just keep to myself, and stand motionless in my 1×1 tile until the evil is banished from the land by some hero. But no pressure, obviously. No worries!”
Other NPCs have tried to build up Cromwell’s self-confidence.
“I always tell him that he’s worth just as much as any other quest in town, but he has both a low XP value and self value,” said Ivory Isle Shopkeep Ruth Thanesword. “It can be hard to put yourself out there, offer up your quest or bounty to the world, but you can’t be afraid of rejection. Growth is understanding that even though your emotions may be hurt from your quest being turned on, you’re still physically unkillable due to the game’s design.”
PoonSlayer47, the prophesized hero of the Ivory Isle, explained his frustrations with the NPC’s self-image issues.
“Everytime I try to talk to him, he just shrugs me off and says he doesn’t want to bother me with a quest,” Poonslayer47 said. “I’m trying to do every quest in the area to level up before moving on, but he says that he ‘doesn’t want to be a burden’ and won’t let me fetch anything or kill any mobs for him. He’s also such a pushover, I barely need any speech skill to convince him of something. I would be more angry at him, but I just feel bad for the guy.”
At press time, sources reported that Cromwell disappears from the game entirely if the player has a party of more than four, as he just feels awkward being in crowds.
