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Twitch Bans Controversial Bathtub Streamer

NEW YORK —  In an apparent effort to re-categorize and regulate streaming content, Twitch has suspended the account of one of its well-known bathtub streamers, a cheery orange man named Ernie.

Ernie, who streams under the name GBert, was known for broadcasting “Tubby Time” segments, in which he takes a bath for viewers. He previously had sponsorships lined up with Hooper’s Store and the number “8.”

“Rubber ducky may have made bathtime so much fun, but streaming it made bathtime poggers,” said Ernie, sitting alongside his manager and roommate, Bert. “Every time I’d get a new subscriber on-screen, I’d squeeze my rubber ducky here as a thank-you. The vibes were immaculate.”

“Frankly, I wish the Twitch moderators would touch grass once in a while,” said Bert. “We got banned for producing watchable content about using soap, a washcloth, fluffy suds, and a nifty scrub-brush. Meanwhile, for the Count’s 100k sub special, he is literally counting how many subscribers he has. He’s been live for almost two weeks straight! Hell, they’re saying that streaming from a bathtub is too sexual, but Elmo has been running his ‘tickle me’ stream for years and that’s the horniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

At press time, Twitch sent a letter to Bert and Ernie — specifically, the letter Y —  and also indicated their stream may live on in a new category for hot tub, bathtub, and beach streamers.

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