DUBLIN — As a sign of disrespect to Queen Elizabeth II, tomorrow’s Nintendo Direct livestream will be played twice back to back by Nintendo Ireland.
“Fuck her, I say,” said Nintendo of Ireland President Eoin ó Ceallaigh. “I only have respect for one member of the royal family and that’s Bowsette. I don’t even like Peach. I hope the Direct is just a bunch of JRPG games with evil monarchs who turn into big stupid dragons you can kill and I hope everybody in the UK cries about it. Fuck the royal family, fuck colonialism, and fuck Sony for good measure too. Sorry, I’m a big console war guy too.”
The move comes as a direct response to UK Nintendo’s decision to delay the livestream to its citizens out of respect for the recently passed queen.
“Aye, there’s no way I’m in the right mental state to see videos of Link and Zelda, the Queen just died not 72 hours ago,” said one British gamer. “And I heard the Queen always hated those buggers. It would just be wrong for people to have to look at their jolly little Italian faces at a time like this. I get that we can’t just force everyone to skip the Direct like we are, but I’m glad that no one will be gleefully watching it due to just the fact that they know the Queen would be pissed. That would piss me right off.”
At press time, members of the unofficial Nintendo Scotland were reportedly passing around bootlegged copies of Nintendo Ireland’s double-screening to play at underground viewing parties during the UK’s ban on lively video game news.
