Kyle Duggan
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HYRULE — King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule categorically denied that the government is in possession of a list of clients for…
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Garry Kerls
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HOLLYWOOD — Link’s silver screen debut has been pushed back to May 2027 as pre-production struggles to find and cast…
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Johnny Amizich
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SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Renowned intellectual and brave culture warrior Dr. Jordan Peterson began sobbing uncontrollably when confronted by the question,…
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Nick Coffman
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KYOTO, Japan — After a rough 2024, Toronto rapper Drake has joined the cast of the upcoming Legend of Zelda…
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Steve Packosky
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HYRULE — Local resident and certified ophthalmologist Tarrin has no openings for the foreseeable future due to an influx of…
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Patrick Sullivan
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HYRULE — Sources close to Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, say that she appears to be clinically depressed, and has only…
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Garry Kerls
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The Lost Woods – After having a large rock dropped on his head by a deranged silent lunatic, a local…
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Matt Fresh
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HYRULE — In the wake of Princess Zelda finally starring in her own adventure, it’s come out that her salary…
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Matt Fresh
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OUTSET ISLAND — Do you remember the kid from Outset Island with the snot hanging from his nose? Well get…
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Matt Fresh
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Ganondorf is currently set to face trial for his attempted insurrection against Hyrule but claims his position as the King…
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