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13 stories found

Moderates Attempt to Cancel America’s Evolution

Tyler Schmall • March 5, 2020

UNITED STATES — After years and countless experience points towards progression, America has finally reached a high enough level to…

DNC Backfire: Millions Plan to Write-In ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ for President After ‘Vote Blue No Matter Who’ Campaign

Jeremy Kaplowitz • February 24, 2020

WASHINGTON — Democratic National Committee officials are reportedly scrambling to fix their Vote Blue Matter Who campaign now that it…

Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders Practice Fusion Dance For Hours in Attempt to Merge Into Ideal Candidate

Kevin Flynn • June 21, 2019

KAMI’S LOOKOUT — Sweating and breathing heavily from their strenuous efforts, sources confirmed Wednesday that Senator Elizabeth Warren and Senator…