MONTREAL — Adult video streaming service PornHub recently announced their plans to further their expansion into the streaming market by unveiling a new family plan for their premium subscription.
“If there’s one thing we understand at PornHub, it’s family,” said Feras Antoon, CEO of PornHub’s parent company, MindGeek. “In fact, for years, we’ve split countless families apart through our predatory recruitment practices. Now, we’re looking to reunite families through our new, inclusive plan that has a little something for everyone.”
For $14.99 a month, families can use up to six different profiles simultaneously through one account. Subscriber Beth Horsefeld expressed her satisfaction with PornHub’s newest direction.
“It’s impossible to know what your kids are going to be watching these days, and that scares me, quite frankly,” said Horsefeld, chopping vegetables and smiling. “But I can sleep easy knowing that the parental controls on little Tommy’s pornhub account prevent him from watching anything I wouldn’t want him to see; like those weird SourceFilmMaker videos of Zero Suit Samus taking a shit.”
Pornographic actress Lacy Maxx offered her thoughts on the new plan as well.
“It really warms my heart to see PornHub listen to their audience like this,” said Maxx. “For years, my mother and father have been asking to see me just one more time. With this new family plan, they can see me on up to six different screens, including Apple and Samsung Smart TVs!”
After partaking in the limited beta test, high school sophomore and self-described “gooner” Jacob Wiggins praised the service as well.
“I don’t really know why they did this, but holy fuck, I’m glad they did,” said Wiggins. “I accidentally logged onto my stepsister’s account, and her recommended is, like, all FamilyStrokes stuff. I’m so fucking in.”
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