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Do You Get Angry When Someone on a Boat Says “Left” Instead of “Port?” Sea of Thieves Is the Game for You

Video games have made it easier than ever to quell that longing for the sea that pulls at the collective heart of mankind. Whenever you experience that damp, drizzly November in your soul, you can jump right into The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, or even indie fare like Spiritfarer. Any of these options will convince you that you can smell the salt in the air and feel the ocean breeze in your hair, but unfortunately, they are lacking in one key area: there’s no way of lording your knowledge of all things nautical over your friends. That’s where Sea of Thieves comes in.

Should you ever be athirst in the great American desert, try this experiment – look, it’s really important to me that you understand that I’ve read Moby Dick.

Crew up with your pals, and you’ll soon have the chance to correct them on the names of all the different parts of a boat – excuse me, of a ship. Whether you’re reciting mnemonics to help them remember which side is starboard while you’re taking fire from a hostile Skeleton Ship, or reminding them that they’re not, “on lookout,” but rather, “on watch in the crow’s nest,” during the doldrums between quest checkpoints, you will never run out of opportunities to impress your mateys.

Your buddies will love listening to you describe not only the in-game characteristics of the three types of sailable ships, but also the laughable semantic inaccuracies of their names. Learning to properly operate each kind of ship presents a challenging – but satisfying – learning curve. Making efficient use of a Galleon’s firepower to sink an enemy feels just as good as taking advantage of the Sloop’s superior maneuverability to take down a larger foe. But don’t worry – there will always be something for you to yell about, no matter how big or small your crew.

I mean, sure, technically, it’s a galleon. But I wouldn’t rig it like that.

As a seasoned sailor, you understand the importance of communication. You especially understand how important it is for everyone to listen to you, the smartest person on the boat. With both crew and proximity chat, you can be certain that your friends will hear all of your orders, as well as the scathing insults of the teenagers who just sunk your ship and killed all of you.

You’ll be ecstatic to learn that there aren’t any stat increases or gear buffs in Sea of Thieves, so your victories at sea will rely entirely on your seamanship. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be concerned about your pirate wardrobe, as the varied and colorful attire will provide even more opportunities for you to chide your crewmates when they use the wrong name for your hat.

There’s no such thing as “boring” when you’re at sea. Constant vigilance is required, even when things seem downright peaceful. Someone should always have an eye on the horizon, and while they’re peering through that spyglass, why not teach them a little bit about the different types of masts on the ship? Surely that knowledge will come in handy when you spot a Sloop on the horizon and need to turn tail and speed away with your loot as quickly as possible.

Just be ready for your crewmates to remind you of a captain’s duty to go down with the ship.

Some might complain that Sea of Thieves relies too heavily on cooperative play, and that more development focus should go to players who want to sail the open ocean on their own. Not you. You understand that Poseidon is poor company, and that the last thing you want to be on a ship is lonely. Plus, if you played solo, you’d never get to tell anyone that the thing that sticks out of the front of the boat is called a bowsprit, and where’s the fun in that?

Sea of Thieves is the most fun you can have on a boat without passing basic seamanship, and with the game launching loads of new content and events to celebrate its fifth anniversary, there’s never been a better time to come aboard.

Sea of Thieves might be for you if…

  • You’ve been dying for a reason to put that old sailing merit badge to good use.
  • Getting better at a game is its own reward for you. Stat increases are for the weak.
  • You love co-op games that get a little hairy. It’s no fun if there’s no yelling.
  • Short hauls don’t do it for you. You prefer to settle in for longer gaming sessions.

It might not be for you if…

  • Losing hours of hard work in a few seconds would leave you low in the water.
  • Gaming is “you” time. You’re going to need to work with (and against) other people to survive the sea.
  • Yer just a landlubber at heart.

You can get Sea of Thieves on Xbox or PC now. It’s also available via Xbox/PC Game Pass. 

03/21/2023 09:39 pm GMT