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Marvel Greenlights Superhero Movie Following Success of Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok

LOS ANGELES — Marvel Studios announced today that they would be cautiously greenlighting a new superhero film as a result of the financial and critical success of Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok, according to close sources.

“It’s always difficult to agree to finance a blockbuster film,” said President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige. “But we crunched the numbers and it looks like Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok managed to do well enough in theaters for us to justify making another superhero movie and we are really excited about that.”

“It’s uncertain if this next superhero movie will also be a success but given the last 17 films we have made, it’s definitely possible,” he added. “We are not sure what the story will be yet, but we are thinking it will star a snarky wise-cracking protagonist.”

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Upon hearing the announcement from Feige, DC Films also announced that they would be making a superhero movie.

“Truth be told, this isn’t about the successes or failures of Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman or Justice League,” said Warner Brothers CEO Kevin Tsujihara in an interview. “If Marvel announces that they are gonna make a superhero movie, so the fuck are we. And guess what? It’s gonna have 50 superheroes in it. Your move, Feige.”

“Personally, I thought that Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok sucked,” he added, briefly.

At press time, Marvel Studios announced that, despite complaints about the one-dimensional villains in Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spider-Man Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok, that the villain in their upcoming superhero film would be played by a well-known actor in makeup that makes them utterly unrecognizable and whose character wants to take over the universe.

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