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Tutorial NPC With Social Anxiety Assumes Everyone’s Gonna Skip Her Dialogue So Why Bother

THE NETHERHELM — Local tutorial NPC Tanya reportedly didn’t want to give her dialogue on account of everyone probably just skipping her dialogue anyway, according to those familiar with the situation.

“Yeah, you can open up your menu or whatever with the triangle button to select a spell. I dunno. No one ever listens to me anyway. This is so dumb,” Tanya said to a supposed Chosen One, awkwardly kicking a rock around with a boot that was laced up to her inner thigh. “You’re probably not even hearing what I’m saying right now. Just the first few of every sentence. Nobody listens to me, nobody cares. It’s alright, I’m used to it, I guess. When I was a kid— But my parents— And I didn’t— 300 times! Like are— That’s why— The Galinseck army will attack by dawn. I just hope you’re ready.”

The Chosen One, a plucky young boy named Kevin, said the interaction made him uncomfortable.

“I wouldn’t skip her dialogue if she wasn’t so weird about it. But like, once she starts getting into this whole sob story about how she’s an introvert and doesn’t know why anyone talks to her at all and blah blah blah,” Kevin explained nonverbally through a series of shrugs and head-nods. “And so I try to get the gist of each sentence and then I skip ahead. But it always ends up screwing me over. Because now I have no idea how to upgrade all my skills and there’s a lot of them.”

At press time, was seen awkwardly heading out of the local village without saying goodbye to anyone.