LIBERTY CITY — Following his abrupt departure from his hugely successful Fox News program, Tucker Carlson has announced he will do a new daily show on Liberty City’s WKTT Radio, beginning next week.
“While on one hand, I’m certainly upset that the powers that be have decided to rip me from the warm embrace of my loving fans, I am very excited to lend my voice to this horrifyingly crime-filled city,” Carlson said. “Why are we allowing this city to hide under the cruel shadow of mafia don Salvatore Leone? What is going on? Is it the woke politicians letting them run rampant? Are we just going to let them get away with this? And if the answer is yes, then how can I get involved? What money does the Leone family have available for newly anointed radio hosts? These are the questions we have to answer now that I am forced to work here instead of Fox News.”
Liberty City residents praised the introduction of the new radio host to their city.
“I’m a big fan of Tucker [Carlson]’s, that’s great that he’s gonna be doing a show on terrestrial radio out here,” said local Liberty City citizen Warren Krause as he dragged a woman from her car and stole her Sedan. “I was worried he was going to end up on satellite radio or something, and not that many cars have that these days. It’s like 50/50. But WKTT is a great platform for him to get his message out there. Wait ‘til he sees all of the immigrants that flock to this city looking for their version of the American dream. He’s gonna hate it!”
At press time, Carlson announced that his co-host would be the also recently fired Don Lemon.
