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Everything We Know About The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Breath of the Wild 2, or as Nintendo insists on calling it, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, is set to take the gaming world by storm. But what if you can’t wait until the game comes out next month to learn all of its secrets? What if you need those secrets RIGHT NOW? Well here’s every single thing we know about The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

How many collectibles will the game have?

Three.

How much will the game cost?

About 230 hours of your precious life.

Will Ganondorf be in the game?

Nintendo has continued their partnership with the dark lord of Hyrule despite recent controversy with his Tweets about Gerudo masculinity.

Is it a direct sequel?

Nintendo has confirmed the game will pick up exactly where Call of Duty Black Ops left off.

What is the game about?

Sexy elf boy make the bad guys go bye-bye.

What peripherals does the game support?

Tears of the Kingdom will be best played with a bong and a two-liter of cherry Pepsi.

Will Kevin Hart be in the game?

No. Kind of weird we even need to confirm this.

How does the game reflect modern gaming trends?

By ripping off Breath of the Wild

When will the game be released?

Right when you’re at your brokest.

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