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Struggling Artist Reclasses as Accountant

CHICAGO — Claiming that he made things too difficult on himself, struggling artist Tyler Dresden restarted his life progress by reportedly reclassing as an accountant.

“The current build I was working with just was too hard for me, so I decided to redo my stats entirely,” Dresden said. “Being a musician was fun in the beginning, but once I started facing the big milestone challenges like paying rent or getting a girlfriend I realized that the choices I made with my personal life skill tree had made it almost impossible to progress. Now I just sold all my equipment — my guitar and amps and such — to pay for night classes to become an accountant, which is a more boring playstyle, but it will at least get me to the finish line.”

Dresden’s character rework apparently came at the repeated suggestion of his parents.

“I told him for years that he could get way more career stat bonuses by picking an accountant like his old man,” said Tyler’s father Henry Dresden. “He wasted all that time tinkering with his homebrew artist build and now he has to start the accountant path from the beginning, but it’s for the best. Singer/songwriter is a subclass to mess around with at best, but if you actually want to have some survivability you have to at least go to trade school.”

Dresden’s artist friends were happy to add some class variety to their friend group.

“We can’t all be the fun class if we’re going to adventure together,” said conceptual artist Michael Anders. “Sure, it’s great to be the silly one with all the charisma who can try and charm people, but at the end of the day someone in the party needs to keep the lights on. I promised Tyler that in the next lifetime he can be a fun offclass and I’ll be a sensible one like an architect.”

At press time, sources reported that Dresden had attempted to grow up further by removing his proficiency in hacky sacking in order to attain an ability modifier in Microsoft Excel.

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