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Progressive Gamer Says He Doesn’t Even See Frame Rate

SAN DIEGO — With technological advancements in gaming making frame rate even more important than graphical prowess in the eyes of many gamers, progressive gamer Garrett Hunter claims to not even see or notice frame rate whatsoever.

“Listen, I don’t even care that Starfield is capped at 30 frames per second,” said Hunter. “To be honest, I don’t even notice it. I put 200 hours into Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and I wasn’t bothered by it there either. People were telling me that it dips during combat-intensive segments, but I gotta say: I don’t even see frame rate. I just see video games.”

Hunter’s friends were quick to respond and point out the ignorance of his statements.

“By saying that he doesn’t even see frame rate, he’s straight up denying that there’s a problem here,” explained Hunter’s friend Derek Acosta. “It’s a systemic issue that goes a lot deeper than some visual inconsistencies here and there. I bought an Xbox Series X just to play Starfield– a triple-A video game, mind you, and I expect it to run at a frame rate that’s pretty much industry-standard at this point. Sure I could’ve chosen not to spend 70 bucks on it, plus tax, but then I would be turning a blind eye to a real problem here. Plus, all my friends are playing it.”

Hunter was reportedly unbothered by the pushback he received from others on the issue.

“Oh, what, am I gonna get canceled on social media for saying that I don’t even notice the lack of fluidity in my character’s movements?” said Hunter. “I don’t even care. Let them get mad at me. I’m just psyched to create my own character, build my own ship, and explore the vast reaches of outer space from the comfort of my living room. If these people are so obsessed with putting video games into these individual boxes and categories, then maybe they shoulda saved up and got a PC that could actually run the damn game.”

At press time, Hunter had returned his copy of Starfield to GameStop for store credit after having it crash on start-up several times in a row.