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Sonic Fan Game Lowers Quality to Be More Authentic

PASADENA, Calif. — A Sonic the Hedgehog fan putting the finishing touches on their own homemade entry into the series has decided to bump the quality down a little bit so as to provide a more faithful contribution to the canon.  

“This isn’t quite ready,” Trevor Conrad said of Sonic Escapades, a game that pays tribute to the iconic hedgehog’s beloved series of games. “It feels way too finished, and I’m in complete goddamned control of the 3D segments. It controls like a buttery dream and all of these characters make sense and that is really disappointing because I thought I was almost done with it. Back to the lab, I guess. I gotta put a bunch of bugs into this thing.” 

The title has been in development for over two years, with many Sonic fans eagerly awaiting updates to the game’s status on Conrad’s social media pages. 

“There’s nothing better than Sonic games,” said Tracy Powell, a self-described Sonic buff. “Wait, let me start over. Sonic games are my favorite video games. There’s nothing better than getting one from an honest-to-goodness fan. And yeah, Sonic Mania was nice, but something was off, you know? We love Sonic warts and all, and Mania was like, no warts. It’s perfectly fine, but this new one looks like absolute shit. I cannot wait.” 

As of press time, Conrad had released a new trailer for Sonic Escapades, which saw added features like empty lifeless 3D worlds and the series’ 28th recorded homage to Green Hill Zone.

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