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Sakurai Secures Sora for Smash in Exchange for First Born Son to Disney

KYOTO, Japan — Super Smash Bros. creator Masahiro Sakurai confirmed today in a special Direct video that Kingdom Hearts protagonist Sora will be joining the iconic fighting game, in exchange for Sakurai’s first born son becoming property of the Disney Corporation.

“It is such a great honor to have Sora on the battlefield alongside Mario. And to think, all I had to do was trade a person who I haven’t even met yet,” Sakurai said in the presentation. “Because Sora is the final character in the game, we wanted to make sure that his costumes are extra stylish. I think fans are really going to like what we’ve done with him. And on the flip side, I’m really excited to see what Disney does with my eventual son. I look forward to seeing what franchises he shows up in — whether he gets his own Disney+ streaming show from birth to death or if he’ll be doomed to dressing up as a character in the parks and cleaning up the underground tunnels. Whatever it is, I just hope the fans are finally happy and stop yelling at me.”

At press time, Smash Bros. fans complained about the series ending with yet another anime sword fighter.

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