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Report: Local Wizard About to Do Some Major Orb Shit

MADISON, Wis. Notorious local spellcaster Angwyn Abernant has been spotted fondling his crystal ball for five hours straight, with many residents anticipating some crazy ass wizard shit on its way.

“Oh yeah, that dude’s totally gonna fireball some shit,” said bystander Fabian Aramais. “C’mon, look at him. He’s been juggling that thing for hours. Shit, he just caught it with his tongue! It’s gonna shoot lightning at god any minute now.”

As the anticipation of 3D circle magic grew palpable, a crowd gathered around Aberant. Some were pessimistic about his intentions.

“You never know what you’re going to get with wizards. He might turn my organs inside out, or send images of his junk to dark lord Bazathrax. Who knows?” said cautious onlooker Sandra Lynn, who identified as a mother of three. “I just wish he were a cleric or something. At least priests never hurt anybody.”

When asked about his goals, the wizard could only muster a phlegmy “Ooohoo when my mana comes back you kids are fucked” before trying to bounce the orb between his legs like a basketball, fucking up, and dropping it. 

It remained to be seen what manner of dope ass spherical sorcery would take place, but it was sure to be worth the build up and not at all a giant waste of time.

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