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Report: Guy You’ve Never Heard of Is Creep

NEW YORK — Following accusations from several women, some supposedly famous guy you’re just learning about for the first time is a creep, a breaking news report currently trending worldwide has confirmed.

The man, who you assume is probably famous for being a YouTuber or actor or maybe even a podcaster or Twitch streamer, has engaged in immoral behavior towards his impressionable fans according to screenshots from social media apps, especially Discord.

“I’m glad people are spreading the word about this. There’s been evidence of this loser being a creep for years,” said one tweet about the mysterious public figure, who you guess might just be another professional Smash Bros player. “There is absolutely no reason to let someone like this back into the community for any reason at all.”

Fans of the alleged creep have rallied against the report, discussing ideas to show support with the speed and efficiency of a thriving community that you could not have imagined until you discovered its existence earlier today.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, this guy is a multi-millionaire at this point,” said a follow-up tweet confirming, somehow, that this fandom has existed long enough to net someone multiple millions of dollars without you so much as ever hearing about it.

In effort to promote positivity around the thing the man is known for, fans began circulating the names of several other supposedly popular men that people should support instead, bringing each of their existences to your attention for the first time as well, which will at least make it easier for you to recognize them in the coming weeks as they too inevitably are outed as horrible perverts who consistently took advantage of young women.

At press time, the disgraced… television writer? wrote a lengthy, sobby response to the situation in an embarrassing attempt to diffuse the situation via Twitlonger, a website you have never heard of before in your life but is apparently often used for this type of situation.

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