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Pokémon Learning How to Tie Shoes Forgets How to Walk

CANALAVE CITY, Sinnoh — A local Pokémon has forgotten how to walk after its trainer taught it how to tie its own shoes, sources close to the situation confirmed.

“When I caught Mr. Mime, he knew how to eat, walk, breathe, and use the bathroom — all the basics,” said Casey McKean, 10, who has been a Pokémon trainer for less than a year. “I figured it was time for him to get out of those slip-ons and start wearing real shoes. There was no TM for tying laces, so I sat with him all day until he got the hang of it. When he couldn’t get up afterward, I figured he was just too tired from practicing making loop-de-loops. It’s been a couple of days, though, and he still can’t walk. I think he might have forgotten how to do it in order to make room for the double knot.”

Joy, a nurse at the Jubilife City Pokémon Center, lamented the scores of trainers who recklessly teach their Pokémon new skills without considering the consequences.

“Forgetting how to walk isn’t great, but at least it’s not life threatening,” said Joy, whose family has practiced Pokémon medicine for generations. “Even when a Pokémon learns something new and forgets how to eat, we can administer intravenous fluids and nutrients as we figure out what long term therapy strategies might be most appropriate. There are far worse outcomes, though. Just last week, we had a tragic case where a trainer taught her Meowth how to whistle and it forgot how to breathe. By the time she realized what was going on and brought her Pokémon to us, it was too late.”

Professor Kukui, a researcher from Alola and an authority on how Pokémon learn new moves and skills, says that tragedies such as this are entirely avoidable.

“New research out of Paldea has opened the door for Pokémon to instantly relearn old skills,” said Kukui. “That trainer from Sinnoh whose Mr. Mime forgot how to walk could easily re-enable that skill and continue on his journey. The two of them could walk together all day, then the trainer would just have to remind the Pokémon how to sleep right before bedtime. It’s a snap! Woo!”

At press time, sources shared that Casey had followed Kukui’s advice and re-taught Mr. Mime how to walk. The Mr. Mime, however, was completely useless in battle when it started tying its shoes while McKean desperately tried to get it to use Psybeam.