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North Korea’s Mom Demands Little Sister Gets a Turn as Dictator

PYONGYANG — North Korea’s mother has demanded that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un give his little sister Kim Yo-jong a turn as dictator now that he has died, according to those familiar with the situation.

“You had your fun as Supreme Leader, but your sister can play ruthless dictator too. I didn’t give you this country to just hog it all up for yourself,” the nation’s mother reportedly said. “Now that you died, it’s time to hand the controller over to her and give her a chance to make propaganda videos and threaten foreign powers, or whatever the heck it is you do in these games.”

At press time, the North Korean government sent a private message to the surgeon who botched Kim Jong-un’s heart surgery, calling him a “cheating hacker piece of shit.”